Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Trust and Control.

There are far too many things in this life that I do not control. In fact, there is only one thing that I do control. And that happens to be me. A lot of my energy, worry, and anxiety come from things that I want to change or think I have to change that I cannot change and that I cannot control. If I could just take all that energy that goes into worrying, manipulating, and trying to control things that are really beyond my control and put that energy into changing what I can change, my life would be a lot easier and happier.


I have a really hard time trusting people and for a long long time I really believed that I trusted people. When I admitted to myself that I did not trust people I felt sad about it but at the same time I was relieved because I knew I had admitted the truth to myself. In other words I came out of Denial. I know it is cliche to say but it's so true that once you can admit it you can change it. I was talking to my sister about marriage and about how she was nervous about some things with a guy she was dating but she didn't really know for sure if she should worry. And it was then that I realized that once I stopped thinking I could control my husband and realized that he was his own person with his own choices and that I couldn't worry about what could be or what might happen is when I realized that I did Trust him. Control is apart of trusting others. If you feel like you need to control others you cannot trust them because you do not believe they will do what is right on their own. The other thing that is important with control and trust is that you have enough confidence in yourself to know that if something were to happen that is bad ever in your life that you could handle it. I will not die and I will move on and be able to make life good no matter what happens. Bad things will happen in my life a lot of things that are going to be outside of my control and I can accept the reality, feel the feelings, and move past it. I will not ignore things that are going on in my life, I will deal with them, and move on. My sister knew that in order for herself to move past this she had to talk things out and she did or so she said I'm going to have to talk to her and see how it went.

Lessons in Progress:

#1: Once I learn to trust and control myself I can learn to trust others.

#2: Believe that most people are good and have good intentions at heart. My husband truly wants to do what is best for me and that can bring me peace.

#3: Bad things do happen lucky for me God controls them and he doesn't give me anything that I cannot handle.

#4: When I worry about things that I cannot control I rob myself of being the best person I can be.

#5: I don't control my kids, I teach them. (that's a whole other story for another day.)

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