This too shall pass

Sometimes I get so engrossed in what is going on especially when it's pain and that most always turns into anxiety for me because I usually don't deal well with it so I try to push it away and then well... Let me put it this way...

Beach ball..
If you push a beach ball under the water and let go of it, it will bust up out of the water. Well the farther down you push the beach ball the bigger the burst is when you let go of it. Also it is inevitable that the ball will come up sooner or later. The less you push it down the more you can control it when you do let it out. So the beach ball could represent our feelings and not only that our reaction to the feelings. The more i push them in the more anxious I become when they are underneath. I am denying myself something that is mine and the anxiety and pain take over. I can manage it much better if I deal with the pain right away and except that I'm just an emotional person.

When I let the pain grow it seems more and more impossible to get rid of it and then add the anxiety on top of sadness/ anger making it feel hopeless. Every possible solution I can come up with to help isn't working and I'm just feeling terrible. And have tunnel vision.... So something's that have helped me when I can muster up the will when I feel so bad...

1) talk to someone... Someone else can help put your pain or problem into perspective and give you empathy or help...(I find myself avoiding this at all costs as to not bother someone, which is not good I need to change the way I think about this)

2) do something that directly relates to the issue.... Deal with it before moving onto chores or activities because what happens to me is that since the beach ball is still under the water and a simple thing goes wrong the eruption happens at that and not about the issue... Like if I'm playing candy land with my kids and they start arguing I won't be patient in dealing with it... If I do chores or watch tv I'm not thinking about my problem and I'm avoiding it and I can't fully enjoy what I'm doing. So deal first... i.e. - write about it - forgive someone - pray - cry - exercise (dance) - breath and think. Identify what happened (action), then what the thought was, and then What was the feeling associated with the thought because thought = feeling

3) think about the bigger picture...realize that whatever situation I am in does not last forever...there is opposition in all things there must be bad if there is good... an eternal perspective of heavenly fathers plan can give me hope and clarity

4) try thinking of someone else who might need help. helping someone else can get us to stop throwing ourselves a pitty party!

Make a Game Plan.

Last Sunday I went into church with no game plan at all I was completely ill prepared mentally and it showed the whole day. Not only because I was grouchy but I was frantic. My husband works shifts and so he has to work Sundays and on those Sunday's I dread it. Today however, I prepared for it. I knew last week went so bad and I could feel myself starting to get really anxious about this week as well. So I set myself down and thought well what is stressful about this and what could make it better. So I thought out the morning in my head and decided the best order for things to be done and also came up with a plan B in case plan A didn't pan out because let's face it if you've got young kids Plan A and B don't always go so I also had to be prepared that either of these might not work out and be okay with that to and that I'm not super woman just a woman and things will get done when they get done and eventually how they get done.

I got to church and things did go pretty much as envisioned on my part anyway. Good thing I didn't envision the kids because that really is unpredictable. But really the best part of it was that I slept the night before, I didn't feel stressed getting there because I had a plan and I also knew what else would happen if it didn't get done and I could just enjoy church. I was able to let it go from my stress and thoughts.

Lessons in progress:

#1: Visualize. When you know you are about to face something that is stressful. Create it first in your brain, have a plan and figure the best way to do it.

#2: Realize that things may not go as you envision them but that it is also not going to be the end of the world if it doesn't even get done at all, life goes on, people don't usually judge us as hard as we do and if they do the don't understand you and they do not understand your value and your choice.

#3: Do some breathing, venting (I like to write), and then say to yourself I am a smart person and I am capable of doing this.

Just do it.

Today was one of those days were I was so overwhelmed emotionally that I really just didn't want to do anything. And really that isn't all true either the morning part of the day went pretty well. But then my friend also got involved in this insurance problem and then I wanted to call my Aunt to ask for her advice but I'm nervous because I just feel really stupid about it. But then also my mom called and her breast cancer might be back and then the baby wouldn't sleep and I needed a minute to deal with all my feelings because I was getting my heache nasea and dizzy spell. My body couldn't stand up let alone take care of my babies to the best I could so I kind of lost it and then they went to sleep and I just sat and watched TV. I tried to write and vent and then my sister called and I vented to her about a syrup incident this morning.

I made waffles and Ice cream for my daughters birthday this morning I hope this tradition catches on a bit more. Anyway my Husband was getting the syrup and he combined one syrup with the other one which would have made since if the one bottle was smaller but it was big too and it only had a little bit left in it and all he had to do was to use it and then throw that bottle away that I have been wanting to throw away for a very long time and I didn't want to put all the syrup back because know it's all mixed and germy and gross. Anyway I know silly but it made me very angry because I didn't like any of the options for fixing it. (Things would work out if I just did it though and not worries so much about germs from one syrup to the other but it really bothered me.)

It was really nice just to talke to my sister and then a friend called and invited me to Zumba tonight too and I just did it even though I didn't really feel like it and it ended up being really nice. Plus it was exercise which is also a good release of Anxiety.

Lessons in progress:

#1: Deal and Vent before I just watch TV so I can just relax.

#2: I need people. I need to have somebody to talk to about things and help me put things in more of a perspective. And others are usually going through or can understand what I'm going through so it's nice to share with others. I just need to do it and quit being so guarded.

#3: Exercise and friends are also a good way to help release stress and if I just get myself going it's worth it. Ask myself the question, "which choice is more important and what goes better with my values? Sit at home and watch more TV or do something?" Do something usually seems to make me feel better.