tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73139956170925859352024-03-14T02:20:26.436-07:00From Anxious to Eased
My Learning Experience for the day is...LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-80595330505427578942015-07-08T14:46:00.000-07:002015-07-09T12:17:11.223-07:00The Squawky Bird<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">For the last two weeks when we pulled up into the parking lot at church and there was this bird standing on the river rocks that lined the parking lot. The bird looked like it was about to attack us. It was squawking and ruffling up her feathers and I’m going to admit she was pretty scary. After before and after church both days that bird just had it out for us. When we went to leave one of my daughters threw a rock at the bird because she was scared. She thought that the bird was going to attack us and she thought the bird was being mean but after looking a little closer we saw that in the rocks there were some eggs that were the exact same color as the rocks and she had her nest right next to the spot where we usually park. After realizing this my daughter felt really bad. My kids have been fighting a lot lately and really just saying, “She's mean...” It made me think of this squawky bird and how she was misunderstood and how she was acting “mean” only to protect something. What I want my girls to understand is that sometimes people my be acting out only because they are feeling threatened, or they feel that someone they love is being threatened, or they do not feel loved or accepted. One of my daughters was upset and said she was "mean." My kids have been using that word like crazy! Argh it is now a bad word in our home! Anyway I explained to her that she wasn't mean but just a "squawky bird" who was being misunderstood.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"> Not only did it make me contemplate my girls relationships but it made me contemplate myself and my reactions as well as others reactions towards me. When someone is acting out towards me I need to be slow to judge and slow to be offended because it is most likely not personal. Also, it is most likely no issue on my part but it is usually something the other person struggles with. It is more important to look deeper and smarter than it is to retaliate. I just read an article about a study saying that peoples addictions are driven by a lack of being loved and having a community and feeling apart of a community and having a healthy and safe environment. Basically loneliness. In today’s society there is a lot of loneliness and we need to reach out to one another and lift each other up even if they are being a squawky bird. The more we love the more changes we can see. However, the other thing to remember is that even if we choose to love and to understand others they may never change. They may always "squawk" at us. The other thing that I love about the squawky bird is that even if I change my behavior towards someone there is no guarantee that they will change their reactions towards me. I honestly believe that is is possible to repair hurt, to reclaim love, and break down barriers. There simply is just nothing you can do sometimes. This bird will probably squawk at us next week too. Realizing this only helps build realistic expectations. I do not think it is necessary to change sometimes except our expectations.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Lessons in progress:</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Don't be too quick to judge.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Recognize our intentions and motives and easily forgive ourselves.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Change anger to love and see if the squawky bird stops squawking.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I won't always change others by changing myself but I will change myself and therefore bring more peace.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Try not to squawk when I'm misunderstood and just realize that unless I've helped someone understand my side they will not automatically be understanding.</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-xgfn5eaxeZs/VZy8AEETacI/AAAAAAAAHjI/h9chvQKj4lU/s640/blogger-image-971873557.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-xgfn5eaxeZs/VZy8AEETacI/AAAAAAAAHjI/h9chvQKj4lU/s400/blogger-image-971873557.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></div>
</div>
LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-26616808561295054852015-04-06T21:56:00.001-07:002015-04-06T21:57:23.189-07:00My PurposeMy Purpose is here<br />
Here on Earth<br />
Doing my Part<br />
Finding my way<br />
Setbacks they come<br />
Coping is key<br />
Keep Going<br />
Keep Trying<br />
They need you<br />
You need them<br />
<br />
Plans are Futile<br />
Follow the Lord’s Plan<br />
Not mine<br />
<br />
Stop, Think, Breath<br />
Solve and then continue<br />
Trust, Grow, Learn<br />
<br />
Hope Follows Action<br />
Act, Serve, Love, Release<br />
<br />
Live<br />
<br />
-Lindsay CaseyLindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-78939672419311130152015-03-02T07:10:00.000-08:002015-03-12T22:02:08.121-07:00It’s Still GoodWords cannot describe the disappointment, pain, and anger I feel. I am so very hurt. Everything in my mind tells me that it is done it is over and so therefore I need to be over it too. I feel unjustified to be angry I feel like I have no right to be upset for I have a wonderful baby safe at home. Why my mind and body cannot let go of the pain and move forward? Going to the hospital the night before my baby was born my body was filled with so much anxiety that I cannot describe the feeling into words. I was in such a state of emotional turmoil that I could not make a concise choice to safe my life. I depended on those around me to help me make good choices. It is never a good feeling to feel like your own mind does not function because your guts want to burst out of your stomach. Labor progressed that night and as it did I felt so alone in my pain and anguish. All I could do was make choices based on past experiences. I did not make all the best choices but how could I, the clouds would not clear out of my brain and the pain would not ease. Time was coming closer to having my baby girl born into this world as my body ached in pain I wanted nothing more then to have my baby in my arms safe and for the pain and anxiety to ease. As she was approaching the earth the world around me spun as I was asked to do do an extraordinary feet. “Get Her out NOW!” I remember them repeating to me....”Get Her out NOW!” “Get Her out Now!” The calm exterior trying to mask the worry in their voice as her heart dropped. I pushed with all I had and could not get her out. What have I done. I kept trying and on the third try I finally got her out. Blue and limp she arrived with the cord wrapped around her neck four times. She started to cry and breath and I was finally relieved to have her on me. I felt her thick black curls stuck to head and tried to wrap her in my arms while an awkward annoying nurse tries to help me and then the nurse needed her and said I would have her right back. Of course I wanted her to be okay so of course I let her. She stole her and didn’t give her back as I lay there almost bleeding to death as puddles of blood rushed to the floor, and looking over at my baby yearning to hold her as some kind of bandaid to help ease the pain. No one could help me get my baby because they were trying to save me. The baby lay there crying and the nurse doing her charts and having no clue what she was doing to my heart. As I asked for my baby over and over. My bleeding stopped and she was going to bring her to me. She lay next to me slow close yet so far away there was nothing I could do there was nothing I could say, I could not change what was happening no matter what I wanted. How could this nurse be so insensitive and have no clue what she was doing to my heart. Why wouldn't they help me the way I wanted? My baby almost given to me, almost there, and then my body started to shake. My body shook so uncontrollably that there was no way I could have held her in me arms safely. “I want my baby!” As everyone around did there best to help me, I shook and I shook and I shook. For two hours my body was out of control and I had no where to turn I could do nothing to stop and to get my baby. I wanted her so badly. All I wanted this whole pregnancy was the moment I got to hold her in my arms and reach hold her close to my body. She had been mine in me and no one else could take her and now there she was and I could do nothing to have her in my arms, NOTHING! Get her, Husband, just go get her! No! He wouldn’t leave my side. Finally, as my body started to calm, they brought her to me and I just looked down at her and had a sense of relief as I put her to my body and I felt her close to my skin. She started to nurse and I just nursed her as long as she wanted because I could not bear to let her go. I still shook off and on but held on tight to my love. I could not loose control again because I might not get her back when I asked I might not get what I wanted. That nurse had no right to make that choice for me. She was my baby and she took it upon herself to make a choice that was not hers. I honestly hate her. She broke my heart and took away something that I can never get back. I hate her! The day went by pretty well and the other girls got to come to the hospital and meet her and I got to see my family together. Then as everyone parted the headaches, dizziness and pain started. I tried to sleep and feed my baby but I was not succeeding. Finally, I gave in and let the nurse take her. I slept and the baby slept and there was some relief. But needless to say I had some separation anxiety. I had to get a blood patch the next morning which my husband was supposed to make it for and was late as I cried through the scary procedure. A kind nurse massaged some oils on me and aided with some relief, I felt somewhat better and thought I might be able to go home. My husband was anxious to go. I could barely get up and walk around and without even seeing me the doctor released me. No iron tests and no care from her and I was released. Again with anxiety rising up in my soul I was not able to make a good choice and let those around me help me make those choices. All I could do was go off of past experience and in the past I would have been fine to go home. While back at home I had major headaches, chest pain, hearing lose, numbness, tingling, and so dizzy I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t go back to the hospital because then I would be away from my baby. I couldn’t do it. I would manage. When one night a Panic Attack hit me so strongly the chest pains and shooting pain was so strong that I thought I would die there. Trying to stay there. I held my baby day and night not to let her go as much as I could. What a joy but the full joy of having a newborn was gone because I was in so much pain and in such a cloudy fog in my brain that I could not feel much of anything besides that. I feel like my joy was stolen away and I wanted it back. There were so many people who reached out to me and blessed me and my family I am so grateful for the love others had for us and the great blessings we received during this time. It took me two months to recover and fear of stroke from tingling all down the left side of my body from head to toe. I wished my husband would have helped me more...but how could he really understand what I was going through and what would have helped me most. I now have a beautiful baby that is alive and healthy and I am alive to enjoy. I cannot dwell no the pain because I want to enjoy the now. I must feel it and let it be. Every time I see a baby, every time I hear a birth story, every time I see her baby photos, the feelings swarm back into my heart hard to push away the pain. So don’t push it away. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
When the event is triggered by something happening today I can:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
1.) Let the feelings in and let it be. Do not push the feelings out or try and stop them or deny them and the feelings will do what they are meant to do.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
2.) After I have felt through it I can think more logically and come up with the story that makes it better....Something I learned....Something I can help others with....Something that is real and true.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
3.) Amongst all the pain there is good and I need to focus on the good and feel through the bad. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
4.) Forgive those who trespass you as I would want others to forgive me. Forgive myself. The Lord will make up what was lost. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
5.) Do not let the pain of the past shadow the good of today. Take control of my feelings today and do not give power to those who did me wrong. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
6.) Do not let the bad ruin all the good too. She is here! My Miracle!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
7.) Think it through beginning to end seeing both the good and the bad all the way through.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
8.) Most things are out of my control. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
9.) I did all that I could do at that time.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
10.) Do not "What if” or “Should Have” the story. I can not change it! I can only come up with what it means to me today to move forward with JOY!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PVwxKFl_2gk/U-r9H_QrRII/AAAAAAAAF4E/F1hF5wOTv6M/s1600/blogger-image-1281646576.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PVwxKFl_2gk/U-r9H_QrRII/AAAAAAAAF4E/F1hF5wOTv6M/s1600/blogger-image-1281646576.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-13073436847700209292015-02-23T00:52:00.001-08:002015-02-23T01:11:41.170-08:00I’ll just do it! It will be over soon enough......while I believe these words can be helpful in some ways such as when it comes to cleaning the house or changing stinky diapers, I had an "aha moment" the other day that made my whole outlook for this weekend change.<br />
<br />
I had someone ask me if I could do a Dance Party for her Daughters Birthday. I initially said no because she planned the party on Sunday. Well, she changed her date and I was available and my husband was not working so I said that I would do it. Two days before the party she had to change the date and time again because of a conflict The only time she could get was when my husband was working. I <span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">agonized </span>over the decision of whether or not to do the party because now it meant that I either had to pay a sitter, and make no money on the deal, or bug a friend to let my kids come and play, and I had already been on the fence over the deal because I am really busy with school, kids, and church. While I do not mind finding sitters for my kids on occasion this was not something that I really wanted to do. I knew I would be unhappy filling my time preparing for the party and doing the party. I told the lady I would call her back and let her know what I decided. I did not want to let this girl down on her birthday. So I thought, “Well, I’ll just get it over with!” Wait a minute! I just stopped in my thoughts. <b><span style="color: #a64d79; font-size: large;">"Get it over with."</span></b> What was this, doing the dishes? No, it wasn’t, it was my life. It struck me so profoundly that I called her back right away and told her that I would not be able to do the party. This is my life and if I keep making choices that I just have to “get over with” then I need to make a different choice. I had the most amazing weekend with my kids and I did not regret my decision one bit. I was not <a href="http://fromanxioustoeased.blogspot.com/2015/01/emotional-responsibility.html" target="_blank">responsible for the girls feelings</a>, she did not need me to have a wonderful birthday, especially if my attitude wasn’t there, and I was able to spend time with my kids and not rush around. It feels good to be confident in my choice and not be unhappy either way, because without this realization I would have been unhappy with either choice because I would have been happy with either choice ;) I know I think too much, both choices matched my values and were good choices.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-p4D5tUG2PUU/VOrsJnYvlSI/AAAAAAAAG9k/wa1Rn_-QSg0/s1600/Casey-1-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-p4D5tUG2PUU/VOrsJnYvlSI/AAAAAAAAG9k/wa1Rn_-QSg0/s1600/Casey-1-4.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by <a href="http://tenikaleigh.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Tenika</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<u><b>Lessons in Progress:</b></u><br />
<br />
1.) Timing is everything! I was sitting down tonight laughing with my baby and thinking if I was working right now I’d miss this moment right now.<br />
<br />
2.) If I keep making choices that pull me away from what I want, I will never do what I want, I will never find my passion or enjoy it anyway.<br />
<br />
3.) There is a season for everything! My service is for my kids right now and later I might have time for a dance party.<br />
<br />
4.) Making choices to make others happy will not bring me success or joy. Making choices based on my values and joy will.<br />
<br />
5.) Life will be over soon enough...Make the choices for your life that will get you where you want to go, not ones that will be over soon enough.LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-58340234463513196282015-01-20T21:33:00.000-08:002015-02-02T22:10:39.156-08:00Emotional ResponsibilityI am working on managing my Anxiety and Anger. The story of my life. I have a ton both of those things but I have made a lot of progress. I have learned how to control myself and take responsibility for my own emotions. Am I always able to do it perfectly? No. But seeing progress gives me hope to keep trying. <br>
<br>
One thing that I did not see before in myself was the fact that I find myself responsible for others emotions. This is a huge anger trigger. Anger comes from either not making a choice or feeling like you can still do something to fix something. I get a lot of anger from feeling like I can fix or change other peoples emotions. It is not possible, so the anger grows, when I do not get rid of the responsibility, the anger continues.<br>
<br>
We have a rule in our house that you can eat fruits are vegetables anytime you want. If they end up ruining their dinner because they ate too many carrots then for goodness sakes, who cares! So, one of my daughters asked me if they could eat some grapes. My answer was, “You know the rule, but just remember that dinner is coming up.” Well, she continued on making a big fuss about it and went on and on about how I would not let her eat any grapes and her sister was eating grapes and it was not fair that she could not eat any grapes and yadda yadda. Anyway, instead of letting her decide that she did not want to eat any grapes and just let her own her own decision, I bit. Oh man I was angry. The realization is that I became emotionally responsible for her instead of empathizing with her. I took the blame and responsibility even though it was not mine and therefore I became angry. I have also realized that I do this in many other instances and I allow others to cause me guilt and I make choices based on feeling responsible for someone else somehow. I have realized people who tend to do this to me. I need to recognize this and remember where the responsibility lies and not allow them to make me feel this way. I also try to lesson my time with them.<br>
<br>
Lessons in Progress:<br>
<br>
1.) I am not responsible for others emotions.<br>
<br>
2.) Show empathy and kindness but do not feel responsible.<br>
<br>
3.) It is freeing to be able to make choices that I need to make and not make choices based on the emotions of others. <br>
<br>
4.) I am a kind person with high morals and I would not make a choice to purposely hurt someone so there is no need to feel responsible when someones feelings get hurt. I can apologize and admit where they may have thought that but I will know my heart and I can be okay with what I have done.<div><br><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-phnwGjLrrhk/VNBmXW0LmdI/AAAAAAAAG14/8SODh5MCQlA/s640/blogger-image-1144658075.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-phnwGjLrrhk/VNBmXW0LmdI/AAAAAAAAG14/8SODh5MCQlA/s640/blogger-image-1144658075.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Babies snack time! No grapes for her!</div></div>LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-79252095996511191052015-01-20T20:44:00.001-08:002015-01-20T20:46:17.112-08:00Doubt to ConfidenceIt is a strange realization when you realize that the love that you have for yourself is conditional. The love that I have for myself is conditioned upon what I am able to accomplish. If I am able to get a lot done, finish all of my goals, accomplish what I set out to do and when my life is going well and I am living up to my expectations of myself I am confident and making good and decisive choices because I love myself. When I am not doing the above things I am not confident and I have a hard time making choices and I second guess myself. Those are the times when I do not love myself. If I could continue to love myself despite mistakes and setbacks then I would be able to bounce back out of those setbacks much easier. Rather then having to prove to myself that I am worthy to be loved I could just forgive myself and move on making confident choices again.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am shamefully a yeller. I am fully capable of being a sane and level headed mother but when I do not love myself and when I feel guilty and when I do not love myself I also feel like others should not love me either. I tend to want to be a grouch and distance myself from others. I was having the worst night and unfortunately for the plate involved because it ended up shattered. I was just yelling about everything mostly about everything that I had asked the kids to do which they had not done. Not that my rampage was not shameful enough and of course the guilt was building up I then had the sweetest children in the world, if I do say so myself, tell me, “We love you Mom.” What sweet spirits full of unconditional love for me. I am humbled and learning from their sweet example to me. Despite my rampage and the broken plate they still loved me, could I do the same thing and love myself and others unconditionally just as my kids did for me and the Savior does for us. Through this experience I can see a glimmer of light as to what the pure love of Christ is, It is unconditional and perfect.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Lessons in Progress:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
1.) When you feel like you are not good enough, have not done enough, and are not confident in your choices...choose to love, yourself.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
2.) "<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">We’re not sayin' you can change him,</span></div>
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">‘Cause people don’t really change.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">We’re only saying that love's a force</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">That's powerful and strange.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">People make bad choices if they’re mad,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">Or scared, or stressed.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">Throw a little love their way.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;" />
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">Throw a little love their way.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">And you’ll bring out their best...</span></span></span><br />
<div>
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">...Father!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">Sister!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">Brother!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">We need each other to raise</span><br />
<div>
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">Us up and round us out."</span><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"> (Wilson, Frozen, 2013)</span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">Love can change how we treat ourselves, others, and become vulnerable to others.</span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">3.) Getting hurt is just apart of life we are going to disappoint ourselves and those we love but love, forgiveness, and trust are what we are learning and unconditional love can help pull this off.</span></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6eL5CIlEaLA/VL8uLtW3yaI/AAAAAAAAGzU/xBIAu2y-J-Q/s1600/IMG_2909.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6eL5CIlEaLA/VL8uLtW3yaI/AAAAAAAAGzU/xBIAu2y-J-Q/s1600/IMG_2909.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span></span></div>
LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-34388704711687182442014-11-01T11:21:00.001-07:002015-05-05T21:33:04.448-07:00The Thing I Could Do WithoutI have been torturing myself with worry my whole life. Mostly worry about what others think about me. I went through a long time where I lost myself and became someone I didn't like, because I worried about what others thought. I have really been working hard on finding myself and happiness and I am finding it slowly but surely! I have many wonderful friends and family and professionals :) that have been helping me. Loosing myself in service and love towards others makes a huge difference it is really amazing how we can find ourselves through service. <br />
<br />
I am a passionate, assertive, friendly, outgoing, sensitive, and goal oriented person. Sometimes in my passion for the ideas that I have and the strong love that I have for my family I can be outspoken. I wish that people would form their opinions about you based on what they know of you and not what they hear. I have been spoken badly about and I had such a negative response from others who thought they knew me and tried to defend themselves. I am not judging anyone I am not accusing anyone I just want to be able to walk in the school where my children are and feel welcome and not be judged and be able to have open and honest conversations. I want to collaborate and communicate on level ground. The frustrating part for me is that I worked so hard to try and make the school more safe not only for my kids but for so many other kids that were struggling and the other families get to benefit and I get to take the heat and judgement. I feel like why did I speak up for everyone else when I am the only one who gets judged for this and did not receive support. Why did I do this for others I feel like my kids are actually jeopardized because of me speaking up. So why help the student body when it hurts my kids. The worst part is to be judged by someone you do not even know. I want to just go explain myself and make people understand the pain I was going through and the frustration of trying to help everyone on my own. I just want to be done with the parent committee at school if all it is gong to do is jeopardize my personal relationships and my kids relationships in order to help the student body.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
To make matters worse my husband lost his job and the rumors people are spreading are just vicious!!! I am very angry at the people starting such rumors and spreading them. You can tell that people who used to be friendly to you are no longer friendly. Or when friends ignore you and be cold it is hard not to be angry about the rumors when the rumors change your life and how people treat you.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I just read a wonderful talk by President Hinckley and one of the stories he talked about was a Mayor who was falsely accused of stealing something. He spent the rest if his life defending himself to others and even in his death bed he was exclaiming that he hadn't done it. How sad to live your life defending your honor. The talk is <a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/slow-to-anger?lang=eng.">here</a>.</div>
<div>
<br />
<br />
Lessons in progress:</div>
<div>
I may not be able to change what others say about me and I'm not going to be able to change how others treat me because of it. But I don't have to change me to fit what they think and I don't have to try and convince them that I'm not who they think I am. All I have to do "is nothing" but be myself. And if I loose friends over this then I guess they aren't truly friends. If people cannot change their opinion of me after seeing how kind and compassionate I am, then I cannot do anything more about it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I can still be me and be passionate and say how I feel in a respectful way and the part that I can get rid of is.... The worry about what others think about me. I'm not changing me again so I better just stop worrying about what others think.<br />
<br />
Release control and do my part and that is all I can do.<br />
<br />
Forgive and remove the anger.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rnOEwdDJFew/VFUj2byS0RI/AAAAAAAAGUI/dEboYQmKPCs/s1600/Casey-1-6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rnOEwdDJFew/VFUj2byS0RI/AAAAAAAAGUI/dEboYQmKPCs/s1600/Casey-1-6.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://tenikaleigh.blogspot.com/">Photograph by Tenika</a></div>
<br />
Thanks to my husband, family, and friends and teachers who support me through these hard times!</div>
LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-34459797827101509312014-09-14T22:05:00.001-07:002015-02-23T21:51:00.894-08:00One pumpkinMy husband got out the fall decorations for me and the girls were just having a ball putting them up. It's so cute that they love to decorate and I have to let go of my obsessive behavior and let them just do it! They did and it looks very nice :) I'm proud of them!<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Anyway that really isn't the point of the story, as the box opened I was reminded of the box that I opened a couple years ago. The moldy box! Judge if you may but I had no idea that a gourd was a living vegetable I thought it was more like Indian corn, dried out and non perishable. As you may have guessed by now I put it in the box with the rest of the fall decorations. One little small baby pumpkin and a year later, the box was opened to a very moldy box and a whole bunch of ruined fall decorations. Needless to say that I was very disappointed especially over my wooden pumpkin decoration that was ruined. Okay now I have a point. It just made me think about life, and about how one little or big thing can ruin the whole box.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Lessons in progress:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">1) If we focus on the bad and let it sit and fester it will ruin all the good too.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">2) Focusing on the positive won't necessarily remove the bad but it will help you </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">see that there is more good then bad.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">3) When the bad seems to overwhelm the good look under the mold do some cleaning, move on, and make it work.</span></div>
LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-85163019519152745052013-11-26T22:13:00.001-08:002015-02-23T21:49:24.211-08:00To Dream or not to DreamSometimes life just doesn't turn out the way we dreamed it to be or the way that our heart was set out on and sometimes we just have to trust that The Lord had given us another path that may be a lot better then the path that we had pictured.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Life's Disappointments:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We are so excited to have another little baby come and join our wonderful family. We have felt blessed ever since we found out about this new little one. We knew that we were walking in the steps that our Heavenly Father had planned for us. Everything was just falling into place for us. When we decided to have another baby we also found our first home that fit our family and that we were able to afford...which was looking almost impossible prior to this. Additional income for the family also presented itself and was a blessing.</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
So I'm guessing you're wondering where the disappointment came in. Ever since I was a little girl I had pictured being a mom and I had imagined having boys grow up in my family. Part of my personality is to include details. In fact, I had the exact family and the exact home down to the decorations pictured out and how my yard would look...etc.etc. My husband and I have three beautiful little girls and are having what is most likely our last baby. The ultrasound day came and we found out the gender of our baby....another girl. Neither my husband or I were surprised. A rush of feelings swarm us both. Of course we will love this little baby and we know that we have a loving Heavenly Father who gives us what we need and that he knows what is best for us and our family. I tried to pretend that it didn't bother me at first knowing that I would love this baby as I love all my children and the thought of being disappointed about a wonderful life coming into the world broke my heart. So I wanted to pretend I didn't care what gender of baby I had. As I listened to my husband poor out his heart of father and son outings that he would not be invited to and football games that he would never see his son play in my heart felt for him. I realized that my dream had also been broken, of course I cried though. He was glad that I cried first so that he didn't have to. :) I quit frankly was mad at Heavenly Father for doing this. I know he has a good reason but what the reason is I do not understand at this point. I have often found myself wondering, "Why do I dream?" "Why do I care about what I have and what I don't have?" "Why do I try or hope?" I have a hard time letting go of these dreams that I pictured in my mind as a child. And perhaps they were my escape from any pain that I felt, they were my happy future that I so longed for as a child. I cling so desperately to these exact dreams that when they fail I feel as if I have failed and my happy future is somehow gone never to return. What I'm learning is that dreams must change not stop. I may never have a baby boy but that doesn't mean I have to stop dreaming. I may never have my own personal swimming pool, and I may never have some of the dreams that I've dreamed. Just because I haven't been given my version of happiness doesn't mean that I won't have another version of happiness. When we cling to dreams that won't happen I think it makes a person angry. I could be angry the rest of my life for not getting what I want and what I think I deserve or I could take what I am given and be grateful for it and embrace it and make a new dream. Dreams give us hope, dreams help us grow. I can't control everything. All I can do is figure out why was I given a family like my family growing up and why was I given a second chance. What is my special plan and mission and how can I continue to dream and to find my happy place now. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm not going to lie I am going to be disappointed when I think about it for awhile. It's best for me to be disappointed now and to deal with the emotion so that I will be ready and happy and excited when she comes. There are a many great things in my life and there are a many great things to look forward to with a new baby coming whom I am going to love and who is going to be a wonderful addition to our family. Each child is different in their own way. I'm not going to have the child that I want them to be no matter what gender of child I get. My job is to love them and nourish them and help them learn and grow and learn and develop who they are. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now I just have to find some new dreams. Good bye old dreams and hello new dreams. Can't wait to meet my new baby girl!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Lessons in Progress:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
1.) Prayers that feel unanswered are only answered in a way that we can't see now.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
2.) Dream big, try hard, fail hard, dream again, try again, fail again and keep going.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
3.) Don't hold on to pride, admit disappointment. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
4.) Don't let lost dreams create anger, let go and make new dreams. (they may not be as bad as they seem :)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
5.) Give thanks for what I have been given!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Happy Thanksgiving All!!!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LMf6OeMojqM/VOwQpGWVikI/AAAAAAAAG-g/fLCvriueF04/s1600/Casey-1-18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LMf6OeMojqM/VOwQpGWVikI/AAAAAAAAG-g/fLCvriueF04/s1600/Casey-1-18.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo By <a href="http://tenikaleigh.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Tenika</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-32883361914907524482013-11-09T01:42:00.001-08:002015-02-24T09:00:57.130-08:00SickSo much for managing the Halloween Candy like I had hoped. The girls took their bags and hid under their fort and ate goodness knows how much candy today. I did find out how much late tonight when my four year old came in my room saying, "I'm sorry mom I didn't know I was going to throw up." I had a nice and patient response and I was really trying hard to hold it together. Until I went in the room smelled it and saw it. I quickly got to work after the dread of the moment had passed. I gathered sheets and cleaners and rags and took things to the washing machine to start the laundry all the way trying to hold in my frustration of the moment and not to mention the throwing up that my body so wanted to do itself. It wasn't until I remembered that I didn't have any laundry soap and that making it was on my list of to do's for tomorrow that I had a total meltdown. I guess I should explain that not only was I up in the middle of the night cleaning up puck with no laundry soap I was also sick myself. I've been sick with a cough and it will just not go away. I had it for two weeks and then I was better and then it came back, argh!! So it had taken me awhile to fall asleep in the first place and I haven't been sleeping very well for who knows how long since the coughing and when you are sleeping well and get woken up after not sleeping well you are already on edge. The smell of the throw up was just unbearable and since I'm pregnant it seemed to be amplified by ten and I'm surprised I didn't loose it myself. Anyway moving on...so I guess now after writing this I could see why I might have a meltdown after all this on top of being tired and sick myself. I gave in and lay on the laundry room floor in tears and whaling like a baby. I must have been loud because my husband woke up and came asking what he could do to help. I however could not respond because well I was too busy whaling and moping and feeling sorry for myself to answer. Anyway in the end I made some laundry soap and my hubby helped clean up the mess and the child and everyone else is sleeping happily in their clean beds while I lay here awake, hence the blogging at this hour. The coughs once again are keeping me up. <br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I guess on the positive note I will be able to find a lesson somewhere in this experience. Not really what I want but I'm learning that what I want isn't always what's best. I feel frustrated that when I need something it is nearly impossible to get it. And I'm finding myself asking, "Why is it if I need it and it will help me had Heavenly Father made it so I can't have it." Like now I'm sick and I need rest to get better but it is nearly impossible to get it. Why is it that I am told to be patient but I'm given hormones and sickness and no sleep all at once making it almost impossible to have it. Well the reality is that I don't know why and I probably won't know why for sure until I die. So what I do know though is that I'm not here to do this on my own. Or at least that's the way it is intended. Heavenly Father never said it would be easy he only said it would be worth it. So keep looking up and keep looking ahead and keep going and making progress. We have been given hope through the atonement of Jesus Christ and we have been given other people in our life. Sometimes I really try hard to push them away because I don't want to admit that I'm to the point of a meltdown on the laundry room floor. I'm glad that my hubby was around to help too. I also have lot's of wonderful friends and family that offer support. A blessing I've gotten is to reread a conference talk that I love that reminds me to <a href="http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/it-is-better-to-look-up" target="_blank">"Look up.”</a><br />
<br /></div>
<div>
Lessons in progress:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
1.) When you don't understand why just trust. Trust that even though it's not what you want it's gotta be what The Lord wants.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
2.) Don't push people away, they are our angels on earth.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
3.) Recognize that it is hard and that I am going to mess up more times then I get it right and that there is hope in the Atonement.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
4.) When I can't sleep it’s okay there are things that need to be done anyway. So don't stress it just makes it worse.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
5.) It is the small things that we do everyday that make a big difference. Like small coping skills like writing and breathing and meditating and healthy foods......</div>
LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-74288374244106349602013-05-30T13:32:00.001-07:002015-02-24T09:03:33.285-08:00BraverySometimes it takes just one person to stand up and say something isn't right. Sometimes it takes a lot more than that.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I went for a walk down by the river and I saw a lot of beautiful things. It always clears my head to be out in nature. Even though I may not be the one to change the world...one small step for change and one small step for progress is a great accomplishment.</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-bPGGE8IUvsU/UagwAkvq_0I/AAAAAAAAE0g/O-lcsYTj6II/s640/blogger-image-277483894.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-bPGGE8IUvsU/UagwAkvq_0I/AAAAAAAAE0g/O-lcsYTj6II/s640/blogger-image-277483894.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-v6Vp_W0kS-U/UagwBPQVncI/AAAAAAAAE0o/nbc9LGgDNoU/s640/blogger-image--479935276.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-v6Vp_W0kS-U/UagwBPQVncI/AAAAAAAAE0o/nbc9LGgDNoU/s640/blogger-image--479935276.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
Lessons in progress:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
1.) There is a lot of work to be done and the best I can do is one small step at a time!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
2.) I cannot always change others or events by what I say or do so I must remember that change does not reflect effort.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
3.) The world is a much bigger place then me, there is much more out there then my small little corner. Looking at the bigger picture helps open your mind to so many possibilities and much gratitude.</div>
LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-52530644862527122712013-04-02T01:07:00.001-07:002015-02-24T09:07:18.362-08:00Accept DefeatWhen things go wrong and there is nothing more that you can do to fix it then sometimes it is time to accept defeat and keep moving forward.<br />
<br />
The Necklaces<br />
<br />
My girls got necklaces this year for Easter. They had pendant fairies on them with tiny jars of fairy dust. I knew the girls would love them and they did. They put them on right away and took great care of them. The next day one of my daughters had her jar of glitter in her mouth and was kind of chewing on it. And it breaks and fairy dust, aka glitter, goes everywhere including all over her mouth. I would be upset and could tell that she was but she was hiding it from us very well. I took her upstairs to get away from everyone and to clean the glitter off of her tongue and make sure that she didn't get cut. I asked her if she was sad about her necklace and immediately the wall she had up fell and the tears began to fall. "I'm really sad mom." And even though it was just a thing and maybe doesn't mean much to me I felt for her. I felt bad knowing that she tried to have a strong face because she knew that she really shouldn't have had that necklace in her mouth. It was her fault. So she should pretend like it doesn't bother her? It was okay for her to be upset I understood how she felt and I held her and let her cry and let her be disappointed. I had a friend who told me they were having another baby really close to another baby they had and she said, "I know it was my choice but I still want to be able to have feelings and share feelings when things get hard, because I know they will."<br />
<br />
Within minutes of the first incident my other daughter tripped and fell and saved herself from falling into the entertainment stand but as she did her new necklace flung forward and hit the entertainment stand and broke. She didn't notice until later when one if her sisters saw the glitter on the ground and told her. She was sad and felt bad that her new necklace was ruined.<br />
<br />
Later that same day the daughter with the only left jar of fairy dust didn't want to give me her necklace because she was afraid I would break or loose it. She promised herself that she wouldn't let hers break, so she put it in her coat pocket when we got ready to go swimming. When I left the house and saw the coats sitting by the front door I thought I better bring them because even though they weren't needed now, on this early spring day, they would need them when it was dark and cold and they were wet leaving the pool. So I grabbed the coats. Later, when my daughter realized I brought the coats she looked for her necklace and couldn't find it she had thoughts of a lost and broken necklace and worried about it until we got home. Luckily, we found the necklace on the porch outside the front door but unluckily the necklace had been stepped on and her glass jar was broken and there was glitter all over the porch. She was devastated. She was sad that her new necklace was broken but more then that she was upset that she had broken her promise to herself. I gave her hugs and understood why she was so upset. I hated breaking promises to myself and others.<br />
<br />
I was also upset with myself for giving them such a breakable gift. I thought that they were tough jars but I was mistaken. I also thought they would just love them. Well, they did love them enough that they were so upset that they were broken. I felt like I set them up to fail and that wasn't my intention at all. I could easily find other jars of fairy dust to give them to replace the broken jars but sometimes it is just best to accept my mistake and move on. There were some great lessons we learned from the jars of magic glitter we sprinkled about:<br />
<br />
Lessons In Progress:<br />
<br />
1.) Even though it may be your fault that something bad has happened it doesn't mean that you are not allowed to have feelings about it.<br />
<br />
2.) When something you love gets ruined or broken or lost its okay to be upset about it.<br />
<br />
3.) When your kids or others feel upset about something that you wouldn't be upset about. Find a situation in which you felt the same way they are feeling and your heart will melt!<br />
<br />
4.) Because I wasn't angry with the kids I was able to help them and see their side.<br />
<br />
5.) When you don't end up doing something that you said you would do, despite your best efforts, it doesn't mean that you are a bad person or that you are a failure. It doesn't mean that you should stop trying or that you aren't able to do something that you put your mind to, it doesn't mean that you don't have integrity. It means that sometimes things go the way we want or try but most of the time they don't. There is something better in-store for us and we must trust and accept that we don't always control everything and that things will work out for us.<br />
<br />
6.) Trying to go back in time and fix things won't work. Accept that you make bad choices sometimes and just move on. You can't always get back what is lost.<br />
<br />
7.) Its good that we don't have to worry about making up for what is lost because the savior makes up what we can't do. He knows those struggles we are going through and even when we mess up he is willing to put his arms around us and let us cry. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-I6o5MKpu2uc/UVqRtCjhyKI/AAAAAAAAEkE/l7__hucoQx4/s640/blogger-image--1332525945.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-I6o5MKpu2uc/UVqRtCjhyKI/AAAAAAAAEkE/l7__hucoQx4/s640/blogger-image--1332525945.jpg" /></a></div>
LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-73852865855777355432012-12-18T23:01:00.000-08:002012-12-19T13:12:47.736-08:00It never ends<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/--NFSahEulB0/UNDQlCs5VnI/AAAAAAAAD1A/Q3nAYvwmFeM/s640/blogger-image-1952744667.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/--NFSahEulB0/UNDQlCs5VnI/AAAAAAAAD1A/Q3nAYvwmFeM/s640/blogger-image-1952744667.jpg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
So I spent days and weeks working on this post and then when I finally posted it none of my typing was on it so now here is goes again typing it all again a perfect Segway into my thoughts on this topic...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I'm a goal oriented person. Goals motivate, activate, and create a sense of accomplishment when I finish them. I love that feeling when I complete a goal or check something off my TO DO list. "Yes, I'm finished, I did it!" As I think about finishing a task it makes me also think about how tasks and goals never end and they just keep going and life just keeps going and there really isn't an end at all because our work just starts again...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<strong>Housework</strong>....This is one of those obvious tasks in life that simply never end. The moment you think the laundry is done someone's dirty underwear is in the hamper. The minute you finish the dishes someone needs a drink. And it's inevitable that the rest of the house gets dirty and just needs cleaned over and over.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<strong> Trials</strong>...We always have them it's a fact of like. Fortunately there is relief from a trial and then unfortunately we get another one and the cycle just keeps repeating itself. I'm grateful for the knowledge that God doesn't give me trials that I cannot handle.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<strong> Emotions</strong>...These also never end. Wouldn't it be nice if once we felt them and then they'd just go away and we'd be done with them. That's what I like to pretend I can do, it doesn't work because they come anyway. When something particularly painful happens those emotions come back really often for awhile when we think about what happened or when something happens to remind us of the event. And we have to work through them again and again it gets easier and once we keep on going life gets easier. Emotions are a good thing they give us information. When I feel something I've started asking myself, "What does this tell me about myself and what I believe." Instead of, "Oh goodness I've already felt that just go away please." It's a lot more helpful.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<strong> Forgiveness</strong>...When we are forgiving someone it happens this way too, we don't just say that we've forgiven someone and then forget about it. When we feel angry about it again we forgive again it's a process.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<strong> Life</strong>...Like the wreath above our life keeps going. Because of Heavenly Father's Plan for us we can also have eternal life and that can give us peace, joy, and hope in the journey.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<strong><u>Lessons in Progress:</u></strong></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
1.) Don't give up, Keep going!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
2.) Enjoy the Journey!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
3.) Once I reach a goal, make more.</div>
LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-34810409269125253982012-11-26T23:11:00.001-08:002015-02-24T09:11:27.536-08:00This too shall passSometimes I get so engrossed in what is going on especially when it's pain and that most always turns into anxiety for me because I usually don't deal well with it so I try to push it away and then well... Let me put it this way...<br />
<br />
Beach ball..<br />
If you push a beach ball under the water and let go of it, it will bust up out of the water. Well the farther down you push the beach ball the bigger the burst is when you let go of it. Also it is inevitable that the ball will come up sooner or later. The less you push it down the more you can control it when you do let it out. So the beach ball could represent our feelings and not only that our reaction to the feelings. The more i push them in the more anxious I become when they are underneath. I am denying myself something that is mine and the anxiety and pain take over. I can manage it much better if I deal with the pain right away and except that I'm just an emotional person.<br />
<br />
When I let the pain grow it seems more and more impossible to get rid of it and then add the anxiety on top of sadness/ anger making it feel hopeless. Every possible solution I can come up with to help isn't working and I'm just feeling terrible. And have tunnel vision.... So something's that have helped me when I can muster up the will when I feel so bad...<br />
<br />
1) talk to someone... Someone else can help put your pain or problem into perspective and give you empathy or help...(I find myself avoiding this at all costs as to not bother someone, which is not good I need to change the way I think about this)<br />
<br />
2) do something that directly relates to the issue.... Deal with it before moving onto chores or activities because what happens to me is that since the beach ball is still under the water and a simple thing goes wrong the eruption happens at that and not about the issue... Like if I'm playing candy land with my kids and they start arguing I won't be patient in dealing with it... If I do chores or watch tv I'm not thinking about my problem and I'm avoiding it and I can't fully enjoy what I'm doing. So deal first... i.e. - write about it - forgive someone - pray - cry - exercise (dance) - breath and think. Identify what happened (action), then what the thought was, and then What was the feeling associated with the thought because thought = feeling<br />
<br />
3) think about the bigger picture...realize that whatever situation I am in does not last forever...there is opposition in all things there must be bad if there is good... an eternal perspective of heavenly fathers plan can give me hope and clarity<br />
<br />
4) try thinking of someone else who might need help. helping someone else can get us to stop throwing ourselves a pitty party!LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-45271339228203239242012-11-14T18:28:00.002-08:002012-11-14T18:29:27.939-08:00Make it harder and harderWhy do we need to make things harder and harder on ourselves. Sometimes the best solutions are simple. Why so many regulations? Let the people govern themselves kind of thing.<br />
<br />
School safety<br />
<br />
Kids at our school are going home the wrong way multiple times. And I feel like the school feels that this safety issue is important but that they are making it way to complicated to fix it. They've come up with travel tags, and now they are going to color code them per bus. And the teachers have to read each students travel tag every day after school and sometimes they just don't and the bus drivers just don't always check them either. So the kids have to have a note to ride a different bus unless its for an activity and then they can just have it on their travel tag and then they don't have to have a note even though its a different bus from their regular bus. And if their travel tag isn't updated then they "will most likely be in the office," so I guess that's only if they think they know where you might be going or if your 5 year old "remembers" the right day if the week and where they are supposed to go. And even though the travel tags have a place to write down if it is the standard travel plan (or normal way they get home) for the week or they can put down the week that the travel plan should be for. Apparently we still can't figure out if its the right travel plan or not because we can't hold parents responsible for updating the plans even thought we should really just say, "if you don't have a note you go home the way you are supposed to." Hey I lived in a much bigger city growing up and if you didn't have a note you road the bus that you were on the list to ride or walked home or got picked up like you were supposed too, simple as that.<br />
<br />
The more ways they try to regulate it the more it's going to go wrong. The more opportunity for them too.<br />
<br />
My oppinion is send kids home the way they are supposed to go home even if they are kicking and screaming and then if it's wrong guess what the parent is either going to write a note like they are supposed to or if you are using travel tags they will have them updated simple as that.<br />
<br />
Lessons in progress:<br />
<br />
1.) I control me and not others I can only change me.<br />
<br />
2.) The more we over think things and over do things the worse it gets. I know that so I'm going to stop thinking about this and just control me and my kids and try to relax.<br />
<br />
3.)If at first you don't succeed try try again. I tried voicing my oppinions about this but got the smack down. As important of an issue as school safety it is not one that I can see myself keeping quite about.<br />
<br />
<br />
What do you think? How do your kids get home or to daycare or activities safely after school? How many times have your kids or someone you know went to the wrong place after school in your school district? Is this a bigger problem than I imagine?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-0UqYykCmAEw/UKH5WOLaFjI/AAAAAAAADt0/6oJ2hWuyPJY/s640/blogger-image-985769479.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-0UqYykCmAEw/UKH5WOLaFjI/AAAAAAAADt0/6oJ2hWuyPJY/s640/blogger-image-985769479.jpg" /></a></div>
LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-68012165012859263062012-11-06T21:08:00.002-08:002012-11-14T18:22:03.856-08:00Have FaithI read the quote the the other day by Joan of Arc.<br />
<br />
<strong>I am not afraid...I was born to do this.</strong><br />
<br />
There is much that I could fear in this life and have feared.<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>What others think about Me</li>
<li>Failure</li>
<li>Making a Mistake</li>
<li>Hurting Someones Feelings</li>
<li>Vulnerability</li>
<li>Feeling excited and Happy</li>
<li>Feelings of hope and being let down</li>
</ul>
As my confidence grows and I trust in the Lord and his plan for me my fears fade.<br />
<br />
I want to address the first Fear right now.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4kHo3o4zb9A/UKRRrR30XoI/AAAAAAAADuM/NHmNkeYpN3Y/s1600/IMG_0516.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4kHo3o4zb9A/UKRRrR30XoI/AAAAAAAADuM/NHmNkeYpN3Y/s320/IMG_0516.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
My mom gave my daughter a book for her birthday You are special by Max Lucado. It is a great book I highly recommend it. She loves it and wants to read it everyday. It's about this woodcarver that makes wooden puppets and they live in a town and they all hand out stickers judging each other. If they thought they were a good wooden person then they gave them star stickers and if they thought they were not a good wooden person then they would give each other dot stickers. One wooden person that had many dots didn't think highly of himself because the other wooden people didn't either went to see the woodcarver. The woodcarver told him that he was special because he made him and that it didn't matter what the others thought only what he thought. And that if he believed that then the stickers wouldn't sitck to him star or dots. It is an awesome book! It just reminds me that it really doesn't matter what others think it only matters what the Lord who made me thinks and he loves me and thinks I'm special so what anyone else thinks doesn't really matter. So the comments that others have for me don't need to stick either way, good or bad, just like the stickers wouldn't sitck if they didn't care what they thought.<br />
<br />
<strong>Lessons in Progress:</strong><br />
<br />
1.) When I believe that I am Special then it doesn't matter what others think or comment about me.<br />
<br />
2.) When I let this fear guide me then I become someone that I am not.<br />
<br />
3.) I can achieve more when I believe in myself and face things face front and believe that my mission is important enough to fight for regardless of fear.LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-72543211218441369862012-08-11T12:11:00.001-07:002012-11-14T18:36:41.960-08:00Get up with the rooster...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pA2DsYd0CIw/UKRVB70N6MI/AAAAAAAADuk/FH4av_8jyVI/s1600/IMG_0479.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pA2DsYd0CIw/UKRVB70N6MI/AAAAAAAADuk/FH4av_8jyVI/s320/IMG_0479.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
(Okay so it's not a rooster but look at that hair awesome, That right there can give you something to wake up for.)</div>
<br />
I woke up early about an hour and a half before the kids did and I was able to exercise, shower, water the garden, and read all before they got up. It made it so much easier to be patient and kind to my kids that day because I had already gotten the things that I needed. So it was a lot easier to give at that point. Today was an opposite example and I can see the difference in my attitude and the amount of things that I am able to get done. When I can get those necessary things done in the morning, I actually do them, because otherwise there is always something more important that I would rather get done such as dishes, launrdy, and other household chores. Plus there is always the things that the kids need too, that I spend my time doing. :) I can also have time for my husband and friends.<br />
<br />
Lessons in Progress:<br />
<br />
1.) Take care of myself: I need exercise, healthy diet, spiritual nourishment, to do something I enjoy, and to look nice and clean. :)<br />
<br />
2.) Do those things first then the rest of the things that need to happen can fall in order of priority and can fit in nicely.<br />
<br />
3.) Wake up before the kids and get them done then so that at night when they go to sleep I can sit and just rest from the long day.<br />
<br />
4.) I'm a much more pleasant person when I have what I need.<br />
<br />
5.) And I'm worth it.LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-7224392994226112272012-05-27T22:51:00.000-07:002012-05-30T20:38:19.634-07:00Let thy heart be full of thanks"When thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God." Alma 37:37<br />
<br />
One of the worst and hardest things for me to do is to wake up in the morning. But I can tell that I'm doing good Emotionally when I can wake up in the morning with some kind of excitement about the day.
I love that scripture it's a good reminder that A little hope faith and gratitude helps make you happy. God gives me those things and I have really been loving getting up and being ready for some good in the day!<br />
<br />
<b> Lessons in progress:</b><br />
1.) Thank the Lord<br />
2.) anticipate good<br />
3.) Believe that you're worth it<br />
4.) just do it and it affects your whole day for goodLindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-81436698241134809382012-05-02T23:03:00.001-07:002012-05-09T20:01:47.099-07:00RegroupIt's been a busy time for me and We have just finished our spring dance recital and I have run it organized and worked all year on dances and classes and I wanted it to be nice and overall it turned out good. I was pleased with the results, of course there was room for improvement and we will just make it better next year. Anyway, enough of that the point is that it threw me off balance for a bit so now it's time to regroup.
Being off balance has made me grouchy and means I have neglected to have me time and a few other essentials like nice nutritious meals and then in my anxious state u could just focus on all that negative and make it worse or I can just decide what I need to do next to make it better. Because life is constantly changing I also need to change. I don't need to change my morals or values I just need to change how I do things based upon my unchanging values. So I'm going to give myself some "me time" I'm going to write more and remember that my kids need some more time too an because I know that I can more happily give them more time.<br />
<b>Lessons in progress: </b><br />
1.) don't forget about me ;)<br />
2.) don't get mad and anxious when things go off kilter just regroup<br />
3.) remember the things or more so the people that are most important<br />
4.) relax, breath, and take a break<br />
5.) sleep is good, which by the way I am going to do now
Good night!LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-69907284494500298622012-03-01T08:29:00.004-08:002012-11-14T18:37:15.567-08:00What Do I Really Want?<br />
<br />
I still Haven't quite figured this one out for myself yet...Any help with this one would be great?!?<br />
<br />
The Question is...<br />
<br />
Why can't I change some behaviors that I really do not like about myself? i.e. yelling at others when I'm angry or not saying what I want nicely or going to bed early and rising early etc.<br />
<br />
When I change my behavior I'm not getting what I want. Is that why I can't change those behaviors? Am I afraid that I won't get what I want am I afraid to change, be vulnerable, or admit I'm doing something wrong?<br />
<br />
So when I get angry it's usually because I am not getting what I want. I realize that I cannot always have what I want. Is what I want unreasonable? Do I need to make a change in the way I think about what I want?<br />
<br />
For instance one circumstance would be I'm angry when I want to do something for myself and then I am not able to because someone else needs me which is equally important to me. Maybe I am torn between helping myself and helping someone and then intern angry with myself if I want to help myself because I know that what I really want in this life is to help and inspire others. But can I fully do this is if do not also help myself?<br />
<br />
Okay one thing I have come up with is to try and slow my thinking down a bit and ask myself in each situation, "What do I really want?" If I really want to help someone else then I will happily stop what I am doing and help if I really am spent and can't do more than what I am doing I will do something for myself. And then maybe I won't be torn and I can feel happy helping and I can feel happy doing something for myself too instead of guilty and angry. If when I ask myself this question and what I really want goes with my values then I know I am on the right track. Then maybe it will be easier to change some behaviors I'm not so happy with and be able to enjoy the things that I ultimately choose to do.<br />
<br />
A list of values that I can refer to: <a href="https://www.lds.org/young-women/personal-progress?lang=eng">(From Young Women's.)</a><br />
Faith<br />
Divine Nature<br />
Individual Worth<br />
Knowledge<br />
Choice and Accountability<br />
Good Works<br />
Integrity<br />
Honesty<br />
Virtue<br />
<br />
<br />
Lessons in Progress:<br />
<br />
1) Maybe what I want conflicts sometimes so it is unreasonable because I can't have it all, all the time. So I need to choose one or the other instead.<br />
<br />
2.) Ask myself, "What do I really want?"<br />
<br />
3.) Be honest when telling myself what I really want and need.LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-78115596423443766752012-02-05T22:00:00.000-08:002012-11-14T18:48:59.081-08:00To Love<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LawuywWPdqo/UKRX_E5XYRI/AAAAAAAADu0/nnmU2CY4iwI/s1600/IMG_0523.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LawuywWPdqo/UKRX_E5XYRI/AAAAAAAADu0/nnmU2CY4iwI/s320/IMG_0523.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
It's amazing the difference it makes in behavior, outlook, self-esteem, and happiness when you decide it's okay to love yourself and allow others to love you.<br />
<br />
Daily Mistakes...<br />
<br />
Each and everyday is filled with both a jar half empty or full and even if it's leaning toward one way or the other you can always find the good, that is the glory in opposition in all things. No matter what we can find good in it. I feel like I can be grateful and find all of those good things but when it comes to me making a mistake I have the hardest time getting past it. I hate it, absolutely hate making mistakes. I am a fairly capable and knowledgeable person and I am able to make good and correct choices most of the time. But the reality is that it is impossible to do it 100% of the time. So inevitably I make mistakes pretty much daily. One mistake takes my Jar full of water no matter what level of fullness or emptiness it is at and it drops a big black drop of food coloring in it and turns the whole thing black murky and miserable. I have come to realize recently that the big black drop of die that perverts my clean water is telling me that because I am not perfect I am no longer worthy of being loved. And because I feel like I am no longer able to be loved I push away those around me that I do love because, "How could people like or enjoy me or love me if I make mistakes, if I'm not perfect, if I don't live up to what they need or want from me." These thoughts and feelings would bring me down and make life miserable making me more inclined to make even more mistakes then the first that was most likely a very innocent mistake. It would become a very vicious cycle for me.<br />
<br />
Turning Points...<br />
I remember a story of when I was in Junior High School and I was sleeping over at a friends house who lived a couple blocks away. And we were up late giggling and having a ball it was past midnight and into the early morning and I started to feel sick and I couldn't sleep and my friend, who, by the way, was a hypochondriac, suggested very strongly that she thought I should go home to sleep and be with my family. I agreed and walked home in the dark cold and I got to my house and realized that I did not have a house key I knocked quietly on the front door but not enough for anyone to hear while they slept. And instead of bothering anyone or inconveniencing anyone I would have rather sleep on the front porch in the cold without a coat or blanket and with the flu. As I was thinking about this memory I thought, "What if that was my daughter cold and sick out on the front porch I would have been so sad and would have wanted to reach out to her and love her and take care of her even if it was 2 or 3 in the morning." And it occurred to me that I was worth it too. That it was okay for me to bother someone or need something and that it was okay for me to love myself enough to knock a bit louder or to ring the doorbell or go knock on my parents window, that I was worth it.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4k1rNzxVzMQ/UKRWYFJcrTI/AAAAAAAADus/4HuRTylOcb8/s1600/130.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4k1rNzxVzMQ/UKRWYFJcrTI/AAAAAAAADus/4HuRTylOcb8/s320/130.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--soQ4ifXntI/Ty9_ZpagLXI/AAAAAAAACr8/lhG4YIit900/s1600/DI%2Btinted%2Bconcrete%2Bwalkway.jpg"></a><br />
The greatest love and example of love that I know is from my savior, Jesus Christ. I am so truly grateful that I have been able to feel of his love and that I have been able to have others bless me from their love and concern to help show me that I am worth it that I am loved even when I don't get everything right. In<a href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/mark/12.31?lang=eng#30"> Mark Chapter 12 versus 30 and 31</a> Jesus talks about the greatest commandment and that it is to "<sup class="studyNoteMarker">a</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/mark/12.31?lang=eng#" id="footnote13" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=nt&bookUri=mark&chapterUri=12&noteID=30a&lang=eng">love</a> the Lord thy God with all thy <sup class="studyNoteMarker">b</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/mark/12.31?lang=eng#" id="footnote14" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=nt&bookUri=mark&chapterUri=12&noteID=30b&lang=eng">heart</a>, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy <sup class="studyNoteMarker">c</sup><a class="footnote" href="http://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt/mark/12.31?lang=eng#" id="footnote15" rel="/scriptures/chapter/footnote/default.xqy?volumeUri=nt&bookUri=mark&chapterUri=12&noteID=30c&lang=eng">strength</a>" and that the second greatest is like it "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these." I truly believe that loving our selves is included in this and that in order for us to fully love like we need to we must first love ourselves, mistakes and all. As I put my trust in the lord and in his love for me I know that I can change and that I can have my thoughts turn to him and to love instead of feelings of despair and hopelessness. For I know that he loves me enough to care about my tears and my anguish and I am truly grateful for him. Through him my best is good enough and he can make up the difference and he continues to care and love despite my weakness and imperfections. People do have limitations and do make mistakes and therefore I can forgive those who have not loved me when I have faltered and failed and will love myself instead and continue to do my best daily.<br />
<br />
Lessons in Progress:<br />
<br />
1) Love yourself<br />
<br />
2) Love Others<br />
<br />
3) Don't let negative thoughts get us down instead turn our thoughts to the Lord and his love and trust in him.LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-51824135502175618862012-01-08T12:27:00.000-08:002012-11-14T18:53:06.796-08:00Trust Yourself!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-leQxceRtKEc/UKRZByW-rsI/AAAAAAAADvA/2fcRlEMhc68/s1600/IMG_0531.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-leQxceRtKEc/UKRZByW-rsI/AAAAAAAADvA/2fcRlEMhc68/s320/IMG_0531.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
So the lesson that I learned at church today and I did not want to for get was to trust myself, and don't fear.<br />
<br />
I must admit that I am very much a rule follower. But as of late need to remember that my opinion and what I think could also be a rule. And that I know a lot and I have a lot of knowledge in a lot of things. Such as Dance I have a lot of experience in dance. I know a lot of moves and can do a lot of choreography and sometimes I doubt myself and fear that I won't remember all of the things that I've learned. Instead I need to be confident in myself, my ability, and my knowledge. And that the more I fear the less I can do and the more I believe in myself and do my best the more that I can do. The first Presidency message in the new Ensign really emphasized and helped me in realizing this concept for me. Check it out, <a href="http://lds.org/ensign/2012/01/living-the-abundant-life?lang=eng">Living the Abundant Life by President Thomas S. Monson</a>.LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-77922747811434566092011-11-01T20:30:00.000-07:002012-11-14T18:57:00.218-08:00Time is RelativeThere is only a certain amount of time in everyday! I can only do so much. I like to plan and get things done and accomplish a lot. I even love the time that I have planned to be spontaneous with the kids :). I feel very successful when I am able to accomplish my days plan and when I can get everything done in the times that I thought I would get them done. I get an "Ahhhh" feeling and then I even enjoy a little break.On the other hand, there are those days when you don't get to cross off all of the tasks and to do's on your days plan and those days make me cringe, grouchy, angry, and disappointed. Man those days are a pain in the rear, everyone has them. I have been having a lot of those days lately especially when it comes to things that you need to get done that involve help from someone else. It's not that I feel like people have to cater to my every whim the minute I want them to, it's just, you know, my plan and my idea of a timeline that something needs to be done and if I worked hard all day on trying to get something done that cannot be finished because I need someone else to help I feel helpless and like a failure. The next thing that gets in the way is stuff. And what I mean by stuff is all those unexpected events that happen everyday that you have no way of planning for or controlling...like for instance when the washer decides it doesn't want to shut off and pours tons of water all over the floor and in every nook and cranny of the house. Or when your daughter spills her juice all over the floor or when you have a friend that needs your help, or when someone calls and wants you to do annoying paperwork. The list goes on and on, and when I am attending to those events rather than my plan my mind goes, "Lindsay you are sooooo lazy, and oh my goodness look at all of those tasks on your list that did not get done, you are not a good person, you are a failure." I guess thinking those kinds of thoughts would make a person grouchy, annoyed, and angry. <br />
<div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-x_s-qpoxft8/UKRZ39YHpdI/AAAAAAAADvI/LzQ8PNt4trI/s1600/IMG_0532.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-x_s-qpoxft8/UKRZ39YHpdI/AAAAAAAADvI/LzQ8PNt4trI/s320/IMG_0532.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div>
So, what's a person to do with this. Well get rid of those thoughts because they simple aren't true! Let's get real with ourselves and our life. If I simply could not finish something because of events that were outside of my control that does not mean that I am lazy, and it does not mean that my efforts weren't successful. Even though events do not turn out the way that we plan and the way we have worked for them to turn out it doesn't give our work any less meaning. In terms of unexpected events happening during the day. I have to remember that I <strong>choose</strong> to handle the spilled juice first and I <strong>choose</strong> to help someone first and I <strong>choose</strong> to clean up water all over the house first and <strong>choosing</strong> to do those things first means that I 'm <strong>choosing</strong> them as a priority over something that was on my to do list. So I feel like those things are important and I am doing them because I want to not because I have to and if I <strong>choose</strong> to do those unexpected happenings rather than feel like I have to do them because <strong>"the outside universe made me do it!"</strong> I will be happier and more joyful about doing them and I won't feel like I'm letting more important list items go by the wayside and therefore I can feel successful about my day.</div>
<br />
<div>
Time is relative and it does keep going there will be more time to do those tasks on my plan and if a deadline ends you don't, you keep going and the things that are most important can keep getting done when the time is right. I hate those items at the bottom of my to do list that keep getting put at the bottom of the to do list. But I have to remember that they are there for a reason, something more important and time sensitive is happening that needs to happen now. Like my family practitioner reminded me when I was getting a mole removed, you will either have a mole here or a scar. And that's the way it is with our lists. We will always have something at the bottom of our list weather it is something new or something from last year. We decide what goes there and we decide when it gets to move up the list. We choose how we spend our time so there is no sense in getting angry or upset or blaming someone or the universe for things that you "have to do or can't do."</div>
<br />
<br />
<div>
<strong>Lessons in Progress:</strong></div>
<br />
<div>
1.) Make a plan and make a to do list.</div>
<br />
<div>
</div>
<br />
<div>
2.) Those things on my list that I want to get done may have to changed to accommodate more important events.</div>
<br />
<br />
<div>
3.) When I do have to change it does not mean that I have failed, it just means that I had more important things to do.</div>
<br />
<div>
</div>
<br />
<div>
4.) When I cannot control what others do or the outcome of my work I remember that my work is still worth what I put into it and that makes me successful.</div>
<br />
<br />
<div>
5.) I choose what to do with my time nothing or no one makes me do it.</div>
<br />
<div>
</div>
<br />
<div>
6.) Stop telling lies about myself that simply aren't true, they only make me angry and less capable of handling problems.</div>
<br />
<br />
<div>
7.)Time keeps on going, I will have more time another day!</div>
</div>
LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-79274647895422353822011-04-28T20:49:00.000-07:002012-11-14T19:00:03.022-08:00Don't try Running...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qz6FR_McFcM/UKRahYIKKCI/AAAAAAAADvQ/bgQP7vjCONY/s1600/077.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qz6FR_McFcM/UKRahYIKKCI/AAAAAAAADvQ/bgQP7vjCONY/s320/077.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div>
...away from thing that you can't run away from. Think how frustrating and hopeless it feels trying to get rid of something you can't get rid of or trying not to have something that you just have.<br />
<br />
<strong>Part of Life...</strong><br />
<br />
There are many things that are just a part of life. I have the hardest time accepting those things and just working through it. So, let's see....what are some of those things? Hmmm Okay like feeling sad and mad and frustrated and anxious. I hate feeling those things I do my best at trying not to feel those things and when I do have to feel those things I get mad and upset. Because I'm trying so hard not to feel them that it makes me mad when I do. The reality is that I have to feel those things, everybody does. So trying to run from them is not only impossible but it makes it worse. Maybe they could be good things. Maybe feeling sad could be a good thing and maybe being mad could be a good thing as long as I control myself and deal with them I could feel happy afterwards. I mean afterall that could be a good sign of me being human and living life. I could stop pinching myself. :)<br />
<br />
<strong>Lessons in Progress...</strong><br />
<br />
1.) Stop running!<br />
<br />
2.) Accept my feeling and work through them.<br />
<br />
3.) Be confident in myself and believe that I can control myself and that I can cope and deal with any problem at hand. I am a capable person.</div>
LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7313995617092585935.post-47585425877374183542011-01-13T16:58:00.000-08:002012-11-14T19:00:10.508-08:00Once a DayI've made a new resolve to do things necessary for my spiritual and mental health at least once a day. Here is the list...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
1.) Prayer<br />
2.) Read the Scriptures<br />
3.) Read Something Inspirational<br />
4.) Write About it<br />
5.) Think about all the things I'm grateful for and the things that went well for the day<br />
6.) Exercise<br />
7.) Breath<br />
8.) Time for me<br />
<br />
The list may seem long but most of these things do not have to last long. If I haven't done my once a day at least once a day I do it before I go to sleep. A mini goal list for the day. I try to get them done in the morning so that my day starts out successful along with a couple of other to do's will make for a positive day because I've already succeded for the day and if I don't get them done I know that I will before I go to bed so I don't worry about it. I just do my best!LindsChttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07845886892816030987noreply@blogger.com0