Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Focus on the Details.

Part of Anxiety, for me anyway, means I feel like I'm not really there a lot of the time. Because instead of enjoying what's really going on right in front of me I'm worrying are even just thinking about other things. I really have been dealing with things a lot better and been able to pass by things better, and I don't have this anymore all the time but it still happens a lot. I was thinking what if I tried to focus on the details of a situation that might help me think about the situation I'm in better. Like thinking about my five senses, of course I wouldn't want to do this all of the time because then I might be more anxious trying to think about too many things. Maybe for instances such as intimacy or for me yesterday Dance class.


I was at work worrying and I couldn't remove it from myself to concentrate on what was going. I felt like such a nerd with all of the parents there watching and I was just falling apart, or so it felt to me. We got through the dress rehearsal but I knew that there were a lot of things that I needed to change that I couldn't because I just wasn't fully there that day. Which I really am usually pretty good at removing worry from work but yesterday was an exception. And I had parents giving me suggestions to problems that I knew were there but hadn't fixed and so I was quite embarassed. I was remembering my dance classes and some of the exercises that we used to do that really helped us with choreography and emotions. And they had to do with Details. For example, one time we were doing a dance based off of a statue, yes it was modern interprative dance, and we looked at each and every part and angle and we really focused on what it looked like, smelled like, felt like, sounded like, and every detail that there was to find on that statue in fact I could probablly describe it in detail to you today. The point I'm trying to make is that it was impossible to dance and feel everything that that statue was and be it because we really knew and understood it. So if I could keep dealing with my problems so that I can clear my brain of them and focus on what is going on right in front of me and see all aspects of something while I'm in the moment I can be in that moment and really be there I won't feel like I'm watching my life maybe I can feel like I'm in my life.

Lessons in Progress:

#1 Focusing on the details can help me to be in the moment that I am in.

#2 If I am constantly worrying about something else I can't really enjoy what I'm doing, like when I'm spending time with my kids and husband.

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