So I tend to think and think and think situations over and over and over in my head and I can't sleep and I can't function properly because I'm stressing about it. One of the things that I tend to run over in my head is conversations that I have had with people. They are usually conversations in which I am feeling like others have percieved me in a negative way.
To Help or not to Help...
So I was getting into my car after leaving a stressfull experience at the park with my kids and someone I knew stopped to ask if I had a nipple shield and if they could have it for their cousin who just had a baby and they were having trouble brestfeeding. Now I am an advocate for breastfeeding but I really didn't know what to say at the moment because I wasn't sure if I still had it and I also didn't know if I really wanted to give it up so I went on rambling all these type of thoughts to her several times and I was also telling her that someone else we knew I thought that she had a couple of them and to try and call her first. Then later I talked to my friend and she said that they had said that I didn't want to give them my nipple sheild and I was feeling really stressed that these people thought that I wasn't willing to help or that I was selfish and that I should have said it differently when I was talking to her and I just couldn't stop thinking about it and I worried the bad impression that I left.
Lessons in Progress:
#1: I could first think about the conversation and think of a better way to aproach the situation and realize that I made a mistake and that I will do better next time. Everyone makes mistakes and has weird conversations sometime.
#2: I have to realize that in every situation everyone will interpret it differently and I can't predict it and I can't control it all I can do is make the best choice I can for me. Then because I know that I made the best choice I could even if someone thinks a negative thought about me it doesn't mean that I am mean it just means that there is another interpretation for it. I have to choose to think of it in a positive way.
#3: The conflict was not with someone else but it was with me.
2 comments:
Wow Linds. Wow. You and I are more alike than I ever realized. I also want to add that you are spot on for not wanting to share your nipple shield! lol :) Don't be so hard on yourself. I like your blog.
Thanks Janessa, I wanted to get a start on the blog before I really shared it but I'm glad that you found it and you helped me to be able to share it. YOu're good at defending yourself you will have to help me do it.
PS I knew we were alike I guess that just more inforces how I need to speak up. :)
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