My Purpose is here
Here on Earth
Doing my Part
Finding my way
Setbacks they come
Coping is key
Keep Going
Keep Trying
They need you
You need them
Plans are Futile
Follow the Lord’s Plan
Not mine
Stop, Think, Breath
Solve and then continue
Trust, Grow, Learn
Hope Follows Action
Act, Serve, Love, Release
Live
-Lindsay Casey
Showing posts with label Trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trust. Show all posts
Monday, April 6, 2015
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Doubt to Confidence
It is a strange realization when you realize that the love that you have for yourself is conditional. The love that I have for myself is conditioned upon what I am able to accomplish. If I am able to get a lot done, finish all of my goals, accomplish what I set out to do and when my life is going well and I am living up to my expectations of myself I am confident and making good and decisive choices because I love myself. When I am not doing the above things I am not confident and I have a hard time making choices and I second guess myself. Those are the times when I do not love myself. If I could continue to love myself despite mistakes and setbacks then I would be able to bounce back out of those setbacks much easier. Rather then having to prove to myself that I am worthy to be loved I could just forgive myself and move on making confident choices again.
We’re only saying that love's a force
That's powerful and strange.
People make bad choices if they’re mad,
Or scared, or stressed.
Throw a little love their way.
Throw a little love their way.
And you’ll bring out their best...
...Father!
Sister!
Brother!
We need each other to raise
I am shamefully a yeller. I am fully capable of being a sane and level headed mother but when I do not love myself and when I feel guilty and when I do not love myself I also feel like others should not love me either. I tend to want to be a grouch and distance myself from others. I was having the worst night and unfortunately for the plate involved because it ended up shattered. I was just yelling about everything mostly about everything that I had asked the kids to do which they had not done. Not that my rampage was not shameful enough and of course the guilt was building up I then had the sweetest children in the world, if I do say so myself, tell me, “We love you Mom.” What sweet spirits full of unconditional love for me. I am humbled and learning from their sweet example to me. Despite my rampage and the broken plate they still loved me, could I do the same thing and love myself and others unconditionally just as my kids did for me and the Savior does for us. Through this experience I can see a glimmer of light as to what the pure love of Christ is, It is unconditional and perfect.
Lessons in Progress:
1.) When you feel like you are not good enough, have not done enough, and are not confident in your choices...choose to love, yourself.
2.) "We’re not sayin' you can change him,
‘Cause people don’t really change.We’re only saying that love's a force
That's powerful and strange.
People make bad choices if they’re mad,
Or scared, or stressed.
Throw a little love their way.
Throw a little love their way.
And you’ll bring out their best...
Sister!
Brother!
We need each other to raise
Us up and round us out." (Wilson, Frozen, 2013)
Love can change how we treat ourselves, others, and become vulnerable to others.
3.) Getting hurt is just apart of life we are going to disappoint ourselves and those we love but love, forgiveness, and trust are what we are learning and unconditional love can help pull this off.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Accept Defeat
When things go wrong and there is nothing more that you can do to fix it then sometimes it is time to accept defeat and keep moving forward.
The Necklaces
My girls got necklaces this year for Easter. They had pendant fairies on them with tiny jars of fairy dust. I knew the girls would love them and they did. They put them on right away and took great care of them. The next day one of my daughters had her jar of glitter in her mouth and was kind of chewing on it. And it breaks and fairy dust, aka glitter, goes everywhere including all over her mouth. I would be upset and could tell that she was but she was hiding it from us very well. I took her upstairs to get away from everyone and to clean the glitter off of her tongue and make sure that she didn't get cut. I asked her if she was sad about her necklace and immediately the wall she had up fell and the tears began to fall. "I'm really sad mom." And even though it was just a thing and maybe doesn't mean much to me I felt for her. I felt bad knowing that she tried to have a strong face because she knew that she really shouldn't have had that necklace in her mouth. It was her fault. So she should pretend like it doesn't bother her? It was okay for her to be upset I understood how she felt and I held her and let her cry and let her be disappointed. I had a friend who told me they were having another baby really close to another baby they had and she said, "I know it was my choice but I still want to be able to have feelings and share feelings when things get hard, because I know they will."
Within minutes of the first incident my other daughter tripped and fell and saved herself from falling into the entertainment stand but as she did her new necklace flung forward and hit the entertainment stand and broke. She didn't notice until later when one if her sisters saw the glitter on the ground and told her. She was sad and felt bad that her new necklace was ruined.
Later that same day the daughter with the only left jar of fairy dust didn't want to give me her necklace because she was afraid I would break or loose it. She promised herself that she wouldn't let hers break, so she put it in her coat pocket when we got ready to go swimming. When I left the house and saw the coats sitting by the front door I thought I better bring them because even though they weren't needed now, on this early spring day, they would need them when it was dark and cold and they were wet leaving the pool. So I grabbed the coats. Later, when my daughter realized I brought the coats she looked for her necklace and couldn't find it she had thoughts of a lost and broken necklace and worried about it until we got home. Luckily, we found the necklace on the porch outside the front door but unluckily the necklace had been stepped on and her glass jar was broken and there was glitter all over the porch. She was devastated. She was sad that her new necklace was broken but more then that she was upset that she had broken her promise to herself. I gave her hugs and understood why she was so upset. I hated breaking promises to myself and others.
I was also upset with myself for giving them such a breakable gift. I thought that they were tough jars but I was mistaken. I also thought they would just love them. Well, they did love them enough that they were so upset that they were broken. I felt like I set them up to fail and that wasn't my intention at all. I could easily find other jars of fairy dust to give them to replace the broken jars but sometimes it is just best to accept my mistake and move on. There were some great lessons we learned from the jars of magic glitter we sprinkled about:
Lessons In Progress:
1.) Even though it may be your fault that something bad has happened it doesn't mean that you are not allowed to have feelings about it.
2.) When something you love gets ruined or broken or lost its okay to be upset about it.
3.) When your kids or others feel upset about something that you wouldn't be upset about. Find a situation in which you felt the same way they are feeling and your heart will melt!
4.) Because I wasn't angry with the kids I was able to help them and see their side.
5.) When you don't end up doing something that you said you would do, despite your best efforts, it doesn't mean that you are a bad person or that you are a failure. It doesn't mean that you should stop trying or that you aren't able to do something that you put your mind to, it doesn't mean that you don't have integrity. It means that sometimes things go the way we want or try but most of the time they don't. There is something better in-store for us and we must trust and accept that we don't always control everything and that things will work out for us.
6.) Trying to go back in time and fix things won't work. Accept that you make bad choices sometimes and just move on. You can't always get back what is lost.
7.) Its good that we don't have to worry about making up for what is lost because the savior makes up what we can't do. He knows those struggles we are going through and even when we mess up he is willing to put his arms around us and let us cry.
The Necklaces
My girls got necklaces this year for Easter. They had pendant fairies on them with tiny jars of fairy dust. I knew the girls would love them and they did. They put them on right away and took great care of them. The next day one of my daughters had her jar of glitter in her mouth and was kind of chewing on it. And it breaks and fairy dust, aka glitter, goes everywhere including all over her mouth. I would be upset and could tell that she was but she was hiding it from us very well. I took her upstairs to get away from everyone and to clean the glitter off of her tongue and make sure that she didn't get cut. I asked her if she was sad about her necklace and immediately the wall she had up fell and the tears began to fall. "I'm really sad mom." And even though it was just a thing and maybe doesn't mean much to me I felt for her. I felt bad knowing that she tried to have a strong face because she knew that she really shouldn't have had that necklace in her mouth. It was her fault. So she should pretend like it doesn't bother her? It was okay for her to be upset I understood how she felt and I held her and let her cry and let her be disappointed. I had a friend who told me they were having another baby really close to another baby they had and she said, "I know it was my choice but I still want to be able to have feelings and share feelings when things get hard, because I know they will."
Within minutes of the first incident my other daughter tripped and fell and saved herself from falling into the entertainment stand but as she did her new necklace flung forward and hit the entertainment stand and broke. She didn't notice until later when one if her sisters saw the glitter on the ground and told her. She was sad and felt bad that her new necklace was ruined.
Later that same day the daughter with the only left jar of fairy dust didn't want to give me her necklace because she was afraid I would break or loose it. She promised herself that she wouldn't let hers break, so she put it in her coat pocket when we got ready to go swimming. When I left the house and saw the coats sitting by the front door I thought I better bring them because even though they weren't needed now, on this early spring day, they would need them when it was dark and cold and they were wet leaving the pool. So I grabbed the coats. Later, when my daughter realized I brought the coats she looked for her necklace and couldn't find it she had thoughts of a lost and broken necklace and worried about it until we got home. Luckily, we found the necklace on the porch outside the front door but unluckily the necklace had been stepped on and her glass jar was broken and there was glitter all over the porch. She was devastated. She was sad that her new necklace was broken but more then that she was upset that she had broken her promise to herself. I gave her hugs and understood why she was so upset. I hated breaking promises to myself and others.
I was also upset with myself for giving them such a breakable gift. I thought that they were tough jars but I was mistaken. I also thought they would just love them. Well, they did love them enough that they were so upset that they were broken. I felt like I set them up to fail and that wasn't my intention at all. I could easily find other jars of fairy dust to give them to replace the broken jars but sometimes it is just best to accept my mistake and move on. There were some great lessons we learned from the jars of magic glitter we sprinkled about:
Lessons In Progress:
1.) Even though it may be your fault that something bad has happened it doesn't mean that you are not allowed to have feelings about it.
2.) When something you love gets ruined or broken or lost its okay to be upset about it.
3.) When your kids or others feel upset about something that you wouldn't be upset about. Find a situation in which you felt the same way they are feeling and your heart will melt!
4.) Because I wasn't angry with the kids I was able to help them and see their side.
5.) When you don't end up doing something that you said you would do, despite your best efforts, it doesn't mean that you are a bad person or that you are a failure. It doesn't mean that you should stop trying or that you aren't able to do something that you put your mind to, it doesn't mean that you don't have integrity. It means that sometimes things go the way we want or try but most of the time they don't. There is something better in-store for us and we must trust and accept that we don't always control everything and that things will work out for us.
6.) Trying to go back in time and fix things won't work. Accept that you make bad choices sometimes and just move on. You can't always get back what is lost.
7.) Its good that we don't have to worry about making up for what is lost because the savior makes up what we can't do. He knows those struggles we are going through and even when we mess up he is willing to put his arms around us and let us cry.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Have Faith
I read the quote the the other day by Joan of Arc.
I am not afraid...I was born to do this.
There is much that I could fear in this life and have feared.
I want to address the first Fear right now.
My mom gave my daughter a book for her birthday You are special by Max Lucado. It is a great book I highly recommend it. She loves it and wants to read it everyday. It's about this woodcarver that makes wooden puppets and they live in a town and they all hand out stickers judging each other. If they thought they were a good wooden person then they gave them star stickers and if they thought they were not a good wooden person then they would give each other dot stickers. One wooden person that had many dots didn't think highly of himself because the other wooden people didn't either went to see the woodcarver. The woodcarver told him that he was special because he made him and that it didn't matter what the others thought only what he thought. And that if he believed that then the stickers wouldn't sitck to him star or dots. It is an awesome book! It just reminds me that it really doesn't matter what others think it only matters what the Lord who made me thinks and he loves me and thinks I'm special so what anyone else thinks doesn't really matter. So the comments that others have for me don't need to stick either way, good or bad, just like the stickers wouldn't sitck if they didn't care what they thought.
Lessons in Progress:
1.) When I believe that I am Special then it doesn't matter what others think or comment about me.
2.) When I let this fear guide me then I become someone that I am not.
3.) I can achieve more when I believe in myself and face things face front and believe that my mission is important enough to fight for regardless of fear.
I am not afraid...I was born to do this.
There is much that I could fear in this life and have feared.
- What others think about Me
- Failure
- Making a Mistake
- Hurting Someones Feelings
- Vulnerability
- Feeling excited and Happy
- Feelings of hope and being let down
I want to address the first Fear right now.
Lessons in Progress:
1.) When I believe that I am Special then it doesn't matter what others think or comment about me.
2.) When I let this fear guide me then I become someone that I am not.
3.) I can achieve more when I believe in myself and face things face front and believe that my mission is important enough to fight for regardless of fear.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
To Love
It's amazing the difference it makes in behavior, outlook, self-esteem, and happiness when you decide it's okay to love yourself and allow others to love you.
Daily Mistakes...
Each and everyday is filled with both a jar half empty or full and even if it's leaning toward one way or the other you can always find the good, that is the glory in opposition in all things. No matter what we can find good in it. I feel like I can be grateful and find all of those good things but when it comes to me making a mistake I have the hardest time getting past it. I hate it, absolutely hate making mistakes. I am a fairly capable and knowledgeable person and I am able to make good and correct choices most of the time. But the reality is that it is impossible to do it 100% of the time. So inevitably I make mistakes pretty much daily. One mistake takes my Jar full of water no matter what level of fullness or emptiness it is at and it drops a big black drop of food coloring in it and turns the whole thing black murky and miserable. I have come to realize recently that the big black drop of die that perverts my clean water is telling me that because I am not perfect I am no longer worthy of being loved. And because I feel like I am no longer able to be loved I push away those around me that I do love because, "How could people like or enjoy me or love me if I make mistakes, if I'm not perfect, if I don't live up to what they need or want from me." These thoughts and feelings would bring me down and make life miserable making me more inclined to make even more mistakes then the first that was most likely a very innocent mistake. It would become a very vicious cycle for me.
Turning Points...
I remember a story of when I was in Junior High School and I was sleeping over at a friends house who lived a couple blocks away. And we were up late giggling and having a ball it was past midnight and into the early morning and I started to feel sick and I couldn't sleep and my friend, who, by the way, was a hypochondriac, suggested very strongly that she thought I should go home to sleep and be with my family. I agreed and walked home in the dark cold and I got to my house and realized that I did not have a house key I knocked quietly on the front door but not enough for anyone to hear while they slept. And instead of bothering anyone or inconveniencing anyone I would have rather sleep on the front porch in the cold without a coat or blanket and with the flu. As I was thinking about this memory I thought, "What if that was my daughter cold and sick out on the front porch I would have been so sad and would have wanted to reach out to her and love her and take care of her even if it was 2 or 3 in the morning." And it occurred to me that I was worth it too. That it was okay for me to bother someone or need something and that it was okay for me to love myself enough to knock a bit louder or to ring the doorbell or go knock on my parents window, that I was worth it.
The greatest love and example of love that I know is from my savior, Jesus Christ. I am so truly grateful that I have been able to feel of his love and that I have been able to have others bless me from their love and concern to help show me that I am worth it that I am loved even when I don't get everything right. In Mark Chapter 12 versus 30 and 31 Jesus talks about the greatest commandment and that it is to "alove the Lord thy God with all thy bheart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy cstrength" and that the second greatest is like it "Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these." I truly believe that loving our selves is included in this and that in order for us to fully love like we need to we must first love ourselves, mistakes and all. As I put my trust in the lord and in his love for me I know that I can change and that I can have my thoughts turn to him and to love instead of feelings of despair and hopelessness. For I know that he loves me enough to care about my tears and my anguish and I am truly grateful for him. Through him my best is good enough and he can make up the difference and he continues to care and love despite my weakness and imperfections. People do have limitations and do make mistakes and therefore I can forgive those who have not loved me when I have faltered and failed and will love myself instead and continue to do my best daily.
Lessons in Progress:
1) Love yourself
2) Love Others
3) Don't let negative thoughts get us down instead turn our thoughts to the Lord and his love and trust in him.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Trust Yourself!
So the lesson that I learned at church today and I did not want to for get was to trust myself, and don't fear.
I must admit that I am very much a rule follower. But as of late need to remember that my opinion and what I think could also be a rule. And that I know a lot and I have a lot of knowledge in a lot of things. Such as Dance I have a lot of experience in dance. I know a lot of moves and can do a lot of choreography and sometimes I doubt myself and fear that I won't remember all of the things that I've learned. Instead I need to be confident in myself, my ability, and my knowledge. And that the more I fear the less I can do and the more I believe in myself and do my best the more that I can do. The first Presidency message in the new Ensign really emphasized and helped me in realizing this concept for me. Check it out, Living the Abundant Life by President Thomas S. Monson.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Trust and Control.
There are far too many things in this life that I do not control. In fact, there is only one thing that I do control. And that happens to be me. A lot of my energy, worry, and anxiety come from things that I want to change or think I have to change that I cannot change and that I cannot control. If I could just take all that energy that goes into worrying, manipulating, and trying to control things that are really beyond my control and put that energy into changing what I can change, my life would be a lot easier and happier.
Trust...
I have a really hard time trusting people and for a long long time I really believed that I trusted people. When I admitted to myself that I did not trust people I felt sad about it but at the same time I was relieved because I knew I had admitted the truth to myself. In other words I came out of Denial. I know it is cliche to say but it's so true that once you can admit it you can change it. I was talking to my sister about marriage and about how she was nervous about some things with a guy she was dating but she didn't really know for sure if she should worry. And it was then that I realized that once I stopped thinking I could control my husband and realized that he was his own person with his own choices and that I couldn't worry about what could be or what might happen is when I realized that I did Trust him. Control is apart of trusting others. If you feel like you need to control others you cannot trust them because you do not believe they will do what is right on their own. The other thing that is important with control and trust is that you have enough confidence in yourself to know that if something were to happen that is bad ever in your life that you could handle it. I will not die and I will move on and be able to make life good no matter what happens. Bad things will happen in my life a lot of things that are going to be outside of my control and I can accept the reality, feel the feelings, and move past it. I will not ignore things that are going on in my life, I will deal with them, and move on. My sister knew that in order for herself to move past this she had to talk things out and she did or so she said I'm going to have to talk to her and see how it went.
Lessons in Progress:
#1: Once I learn to trust and control myself I can learn to trust others.
#2: Believe that most people are good and have good intentions at heart. My husband truly wants to do what is best for me and that can bring me peace.
#3: Bad things do happen lucky for me God controls them and he doesn't give me anything that I cannot handle.
#4: When I worry about things that I cannot control I rob myself of being the best person I can be.
#5: I don't control my kids, I teach them. (that's a whole other story for another day.)
Trust...
I have a really hard time trusting people and for a long long time I really believed that I trusted people. When I admitted to myself that I did not trust people I felt sad about it but at the same time I was relieved because I knew I had admitted the truth to myself. In other words I came out of Denial. I know it is cliche to say but it's so true that once you can admit it you can change it. I was talking to my sister about marriage and about how she was nervous about some things with a guy she was dating but she didn't really know for sure if she should worry. And it was then that I realized that once I stopped thinking I could control my husband and realized that he was his own person with his own choices and that I couldn't worry about what could be or what might happen is when I realized that I did Trust him. Control is apart of trusting others. If you feel like you need to control others you cannot trust them because you do not believe they will do what is right on their own. The other thing that is important with control and trust is that you have enough confidence in yourself to know that if something were to happen that is bad ever in your life that you could handle it. I will not die and I will move on and be able to make life good no matter what happens. Bad things will happen in my life a lot of things that are going to be outside of my control and I can accept the reality, feel the feelings, and move past it. I will not ignore things that are going on in my life, I will deal with them, and move on. My sister knew that in order for herself to move past this she had to talk things out and she did or so she said I'm going to have to talk to her and see how it went.
Lessons in Progress:
#1: Once I learn to trust and control myself I can learn to trust others.
#2: Believe that most people are good and have good intentions at heart. My husband truly wants to do what is best for me and that can bring me peace.
#3: Bad things do happen lucky for me God controls them and he doesn't give me anything that I cannot handle.
#4: When I worry about things that I cannot control I rob myself of being the best person I can be.
#5: I don't control my kids, I teach them. (that's a whole other story for another day.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)