Sunday, May 23, 2010

Choose What you Want.

I find it fascinating that I often choose something based on what others think and based on how others feel even when it seems that they would not be hurt in return. I do think that my anxiety plays a big part in this, I am constantly thinking about how others think or even how I just think that they will think and it's hard to make choices because I'm so anxious about all of those things that I make myself think about which may or may not be and ultimately should demand my decisions.

Build a Bear...

So, grandma came for a visit last weekend and it's always a blast when grandma comes but this time it was an especially exciting trip because grandma took the girls to Build a Bear and let them make their own stuffed animal. I honestly didn't quite understand the hype about the place until we went there and got to see the whole process in action, the girls loved and the employee was so good with them, I was impressed with the whole experience. Anyway, the story I'm about to tell doesn't take place this day exactly. So we were at home talking about their cute cuddly toys from build a bear and one of my daughters new lovey for bedtime. And my other daughter said, "I really wanted the white one." (The White one is pictured above picture from the build a bear website.) Well Mom, Dad, and Grandpa didn't care for the white one so we thought we'd ask her if she wanted to Brown one instead. It was a perfectly innocent question on our part which she agreed that she would prefer the brown one. So she got the brown Horse and was and is very happy with it. She tell me however that she was sad that she didn't pick the white one. I decided that this was a perfect moment to teach my child about making our choices no matter what anyone else thought. It's never to early to teach the necessities of life. I also decided that it was a great moment for me to learn to just let her have the funny looking pony because she likes it. It's not going to be my Stuffy it's going to be hers to love. In the end we decided that if she would earn half the money for the white one I would pay for the other half. And she was excited that her brown pony would have a friend.
Lessons in Progress:
#1: Make your choice for you because in the end you are going to be stuck with your choice.
#2: Let your children make their choice and deal with the consequences of them. It is a good idea to give them guidance and direction but when their heart is leaning somewhere let them go, they need to gain confidence in making their choices.


Trish said...

I think this is such a good example. I try really hard not to influence decisions that don't matter, but I'm not entirely successful. However, I think it's SO important for kids to learn how to have confidence in their decision making ability. I think it helps them develop the self confidence/worth they need to make wise decisions later. I feel like I do good in some areas, but not in all with this. Sometimes I choose one thing because someone shows a preference for it and then I wish I had stuck with what I prefered later! I also feel like it makes me feel worse about myself to some extent because I made the decision and now I feel like I have to live with it.

Linds said...

Yes, I do that too!