Monday, March 1, 2010

I can make anything stressful.

It has been pretty evident lately that I don't really enjoy doing much or anything.

Dance Class...
I teach two dance classes on Mondays. And I really hate getting ready to go to them but once I'm there I enjoy it. Last week did not go very well so I was feeling bummed about that. I've been late starting class the last two weeks and I got a complaint about it. Whenever I have to say anything negative or anything that could potentially be confrontational I cringe, take a deep breath, and hope that it doesn't come out wrong. I can't say that it always comes out right. I had to ask one of the moms to wait before they got their kids dressed until after break time so that my little kids could go to the bathroom during break time if they needed too. And then my older class was very chatty and not paying attention so I had to be mean. Anyway, just because I had one bad day I was feeling like I didn't want to do it anymore.

So today during dance class it went really well and I really did have a lot of fun teaching and enjoying the kids. I just was myself and just went with the flow and didn't worry and just enjoyed myself. What a relief to change my thinking from last week. But it is hard to do.

The easiest and simplest games, CandyLand, and I can't play it. I can't play it not because I don't understand it but because it stresses me out. I worry about the kids playing it right and that they don't understand it all at once and that my one year old keeps messing up the cards and the pieces on the board. So before I do lose it I stop the game. Who knew that a simple game of candyland could stress a person out. Really, Why does this stress me out?

Lessons in Progress:

#1: Things do not have to be perfect. I just need to enjoy what I have and have fun with my kids and my work and my life.

#2: Life is not all bad but mostly good. Just because one bad thing happens doesn't mean that everything is bad.

#3: Happiness is a Choice. My Choice.

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