I guess on the positive note I will be able to find a lesson somewhere in this experience. Not really what I want but I'm learning that what I want isn't always what's best. I feel frustrated that when I need something it is nearly impossible to get it. And I'm finding myself asking, "Why is it if I need it and it will help me had Heavenly Father made it so I can't have it." Like now I'm sick and I need rest to get better but it is nearly impossible to get it. Why is it that I am told to be patient but I'm given hormones and sickness and no sleep all at once making it almost impossible to have it. Well the reality is that I don't know why and I probably won't know why for sure until I die. So what I do know though is that I'm not here to do this on my own. Or at least that's the way it is intended. Heavenly Father never said it would be easy he only said it would be worth it. So keep looking up and keep looking ahead and keep going and making progress. We have been given hope through the atonement of Jesus Christ and we have been given other people in our life. Sometimes I really try hard to push them away because I don't want to admit that I'm to the point of a meltdown on the laundry room floor. I'm glad that my hubby was around to help too. I also have lot's of wonderful friends and family that offer support. A blessing I've gotten is to reread a conference talk that I love that reminds me to "Look up.”
Lessons in progress:
1.) When you don't understand why just trust. Trust that even though it's not what you want it's gotta be what The Lord wants.
2.) Don't push people away, they are our angels on earth.
3.) Recognize that it is hard and that I am going to mess up more times then I get it right and that there is hope in the Atonement.
4.) When I can't sleep it’s okay there are things that need to be done anyway. So don't stress it just makes it worse.
5.) It is the small things that we do everyday that make a big difference. Like small coping skills like writing and breathing and meditating and healthy foods......