Stop and Think.

Positive Choices are in my definition choices that we make that are good. What makes a choice good or bad. We do. I am reminded of something that I was once told and that is "Happiness is a choice." In every choice we make we can reprimand ourselves or we can accept the reason we had to make the choice or we can change the choice if necessary. How can I tell if the choice is right for me or not. First, I have to decide what my values are. For instance, I value my Family Relationships, Honesty, Hard work, Integrity, Education, Service, Cleanliness, Order, and a well Balanced Life in diet and exercise and time and money management. These are the values in which I must base my choices. If I am angry with myself for sleeping in, which I often am, I have to make the choice positive. I am sleeping in because I was up all night with the kids who needed me and now I need more sleep so I can be alert today to take care of them. Which supports my Value of Family Relationships. I talked about the Paradigm as a map in my last post my values give me the map in which I can feel good about the choices that I make. I have started getting myself in the habit of rethinking the why to my choices. When I feel myself get down on myself or getting Anxious I can stop and ask myself why.

Just ask Why?...

I hate it when someone moves my decorations or doesn't but things back where I had them or in the right order. And that happens a lot because first of all people aren't mind readers and they do not know exactly where I had things. The other reason this happens is because I am so particular a half an inch or rotation I not only notice but makes me nuts until I fix it and I can't think about anything else until it is fixed. And in a house full of kids you can just forget it. So I started a peace shelf to help have one spot that is up high that no one is allowed to bother. I can look there and feel like there is order somewhere. Also, I have to stop and think. One day I looked over at a picture frame on the end table and it was turned differently then the way that I had it. I started feeling myself getting anxious about and it was driving me nuts and I was trying to relax and watch TV but I couldn't because all I was thinking was that I needed to get up and fix that picture frame. Then I stopped and said to myself, "Why? Why does that picture frame need to be moved?" The answer was simply that I liked it the other way and I thought that it looked better the other way. Thinking that alone let me just release some of the stress and then I thought it looks okay that way too and I think it's cute that the girls like to decorate and I can let it go. The house was still clean and in order it just wasn't done my way and that is okay, it fit within my values the way it was. I was able to rest my mind and body and be happy with leaving it that way. The choice was to leave it that way because I had just spent thirty minutes cleaning and it was not necessary to clean more and even though I was anxious about it at first I answered the why and could be happy with that choice.

Lessons in Progress:

#1: Never accept that because I feel upset or anxious means that that is just the way it is. Changing the way we think changes the way we feel.

#2: If I stop and rethink things I can change negative thinking into positive thinking and be happy with my choices.

Coming Home.

After work or a meeting or spending time with friends and then coming home to the house is a stressful time for me. Usually It's when my husband is home with the kids and I come home and there is a mess aroung the house and the kids need to be fed and they are just hanging out enjoying the day.

So today I came home...

and Everyone was just hanging out and there were shoes and mess all over and the baby started to cry and the kids needed to be fed. And I just started being a big grouch. I was like seriously why does my husband get to just hang out and have fun with the kids and then I have to come home and do all the work. Then my grouchiness didn't make anything better, thank goodness my husband doesn't depend on his mood from mine and he kept up beat and I was able to come out of it and I also had to change my thinking and this is what I had to replace the bad thinking with...

Lessons in Progress..

#1: Remember that last night when I came home from work dinner was made the kids were eating and then my husband even did the dishes. I am not always the victim.

#2: My husband chooses to have fun and I do not.

#3: I clean up twice a day and if messes weren't made I wouldn't have anything to clean up during that time. If I was the only person who lived in the house I could maintain a certain level of cleanliness but since I am not I will accept mess and clean up twice a day. Plus I do have a shelf that is mine and only mine that no one is allowed to touch and it is in order 24/7 so I can let go of some things and let people actually live in the house. :)My "Peace Shelf," where I look when the rest of the house is in array.

The mess that was on the kitchen table.The mess that the kids are having fun with and enjoying.